I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.   — Henry David Thoreau

A friend of mine died two weeks ago today.

Suddenly. Unexpectedly.

Another friend found him – but not in time.

He was a wonderful human being: intelligent, articulate, funny, gentle, compassionate and giving. He was a devoted husband; and an adoring dad. His impact on the world was reflected in the swath of the grief  – and in faces of the hundreds who lined up in the hot June sun to pay their last respects.

He was 56.

His death has haunted me so: Arbitrary. Capricious. Unfathomable.

Our children had come of age together.  We had so recently talked and laughed and shared a meal. We were close in age. And I saw in him an uncommon zest, and zeal for life.

I am certain that when he woke up that Thursday morning two weeks ago, he had no idea that it would be his last.

And I began to wonder, how would I live – what would I do differently – if I knew?

If you knew, would you let the warm shower run a moment longer down your back? Would you savor those first moments with your coffee?

Would you walk barefoot in the dewy grass? Feel the breeze across your face? Would you watch the light play across the spider’s web?

If you knew, would you harbor the grudge, indulge the guilt, hold the anger?

Would you check your email one last time? Spend an hour less on Facebook? Care about your Twitter stream? Drive quite so fast? Fret as much? If you knew?

What would you write, who would you talk with, what would you share?

Would you curse the moments at the light? Worry about the dry cleaning or the dishes in the sink?

If you knew today would be your last, would you make the call, heal the rift, hold the child, write the poem, paint the picture, dance the dance, sing the song?

Would you linger just a moment longer in your lover’s arms?

Would you get up early to watch the sun rise one last time?

If you knew?