If there is one question that comes up more frequently than any other in the course of getting started with a new coaching client, it’s this one: “How do I do that?” As in, how do I start my own firm or launch a new product or transition into a new career?

The question is almost always a b.s. question.

Because here’s what true. People who come to me for coaching – frequently lawyers who want to make more money or create more clients or start their own businesses or transition into different careers – are highly educated peak performers. When I ask them to reflect back over the course of their lives, I ask them a different question: “Has there ever been a time in your life when you have wanted to achieve something – really, really, really wanted to achieve something – and you haven’t been able to achieve it?” And every single time I ask that question, without exception, the answer is: “Never.”

That’s because the folks who come to my door are achievers; they bust through obstacles; they wrestle things to the ground; they make stuff happen… when they want to.

But here’s what often happens in mid-career, in mid-life… especially when we’ve been “successful” at something for a long, long time… especially when we think about the effort it takes to change: We become afraid… and then we ask a different question: “How do I do that?”

And, really, who can fault you for staying stuck if you’re trying – really trying – to figure something out; if you’re earnestly (cue hand wringing) grappling with “how to” do something. It sounds perfectly reasonable, completely understandable (you certainly don’t want to make a “wrong” move!) … until you recognize that anything you’ve every really wanted to do, you’ve figured out how to make happen; that you never really asked the “how to question;” you’ve just done it.

The only question then – the only relevant question – is do you want what you say you want? Do you really, really want it? If you do, we’ll figure out the how. I promise you.

That other question: pure b.s.