Life is to be lived. No excuses. No reservations. No holding back.
“How ya doin’?” I asked.
“Hangin’ in there,” Rick replied.
We were lifting at the gym. Rick had just arrived.
“A lot goin’ on,” he explained. “Busy, busy, busy. But, not bad, I guess.”
Not good I think.
“Hangin’ in there” is not enough.
Life is not an endurance event. Getting by is not a win. If all you’re doing is “hangin’ in there,” something is amiss.
Here are my other favorite responses to the “how are you” question:
- Not bad
- OK
- Shitty
- Pretty good for an ol’ guy
- Busy
- Same day different shit
And the best of all:
- Woke up on the right side of the dirt
Now, people, this is all there is. These days of our lives are all we have. The sands run through the glass pretty fast.
All of us go through difficult times: The loss of a loved one, a debilitating illness, unemployment, divorce, interpersonal conflict. Times when all we can do is hang in there, claw through our days, and hold on tenuously as best we can. And sometimes these events can stretch for months or years at a time.
I know. I have walked through some of those dark valleys.
But, if that’s how life is all the time – an epic, arduous grind, one day collapsing into another – then something needs to be fixed. That’s not the way life should be.
Joy is our birthright.
Blaise Pascal argued that every person, without exception, is a seeker of happiness. Aristotle believed happiness to be the summum bonum, the highest good.
The Dalai Lama writes, “I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness.”
Indeed, happiness is the key to our success. The paradigm of old held that if you worked long and hard, had a great job, amassed a lot of money and things, then you would be happy. The research is now clear that the old paradigm had it completely backwards. “Happiness fuels success, not the other way around,” writes Shawn Achor in his book The Happiness Advantage. “When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work.”
So “hangin’ in there” just won’t cut it.
If you’re feeling that you’re just getting by,
- Identify the biggest drag on your spirit; see if you can change or eliminate what’s bringing you down.
- Apply the 80/20 rule; focus on the 20% of activities that bring 80% of your happiness; get rid of the 20% of activities that bring 80% of the headaches.
- Check your boundaries; see if you’re getting the time and space you need to nurture your soul.
- Catch up on some sleep; fatigue will wear you down.
- Say no more often; make a “stop doing” list and follow it religiously.
- Take some time away; if you can’t take a week or a day, take an hour at Starbucks by yourself.
- Go “off the grid” for a few hours; turn off the electronics; eliminate the inputs; silence renews the spirit.
- Consider the help of a counseling professional; none of us can go it alone.
None of us can be happy all the time. But we give no greater gift to the world than to live our lives with joy.
Coming soon!
Great blog this week… and so true. Simple, but what a difference it can make in your attitude. So- when’s the book coming out??? Hope you are planning on sending me a signed copy!