Walt Hampton, J.D.

Creating the Work & Life You LOVE

You’re A Fraud

by Walt | Jul 11, 2013 | Leadership, Success | 0 Comments

Not.

But chances are that you’ve felt like one from time to time.

I had dinner recently with a high-ranking foreign official. She was appointed to her position by the president of her country, the first woman to hold it in over 700 years. Trained as a trial lawyer, she is bright, savvy, shrewd, articulate and attractive. And yet, she confessed, after every television and radio interview she does – and she does many – she comes away feeling like she’s making it up as she goes along, that she’s shallow and transparently inept, that she must have fooled someone to hold such an important job, that she’s… a fraud.

She’s not alone. More than 70% of folks have suffered from the “Imposter Syndrome;” and it is especially prevalent among successful women.

I can’t remember a time that I haven’t questioned myself before going out on stage to speak to a group: There is a little voice that asks, “Who am I to teach these things I want to say; what can I share with this audience that is of any use whatsoever; and what veracity does any of it have especially when I’ve struggled and thrashed as much if not more than the next guy?”

But here’s the truth: Each of us has gifts and talents that are uniquely ours to share with the world; no on else is equipped to share them the way we can.

And it is our call, our obligation to do so.

There are folks on the path behind us who need to hear what we have to say; who want to hear. We can make their way sweeter and gentler when we have the courage to stand up and be heard.

Every third grader looks up to a fourth grader… each of us can turn around and share the lessons that we’ve learned.

With confidence and integrity… even when we’re scared; even when we feel we have no “standing.”

Marianne Williamson says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

No one escapes these feeling of inadequacy.

It’s what you do next that matters most: Will you shrink? Or will you step up and lead?

There is a great children’s book called Everyone Poops.

Yup, everybody does.

Be Free

by Walt | Jul 4, 2013 | Finding The Way, Success | 1 Comment

One of the most powerful books of the 20th century was Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.

Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist living in Vienna when the Nazi’s came to power. He was aware of the unraveling of things and had obtained a visa to secure refuge in the United States. But at the eleventh hour, he chose to stay in Vienna in order to care for his elderly parents who could not travel.

On September 25, 1942, Frankl, his young wife and his parents were rounded up and sent to the death camps. The Nazi’s took and destroyed all of Frankl’s writings and research. They exterminated his wife and his parent in the gas chambers… and burned their bodies in the crematoria.

Through it all, Frankl chose to care for his fellow prisoners. He chose to believe that, despite the odds, he would survive. He chose to believe that, even in this darkest of times in history, evil would be overcome, good would prevail.

He chose to believe in hope.

Frankl did survive… and after he was released he went on to write Man’s Search for Meaning. Its central tenet: That the greatest gift of our humanity, the greatest of all of our human gifts, is our power – our freedom – to chose how we will be in every moment – regardless of our circumstance.

We get to choose:

➢ Hope over despair;
➢ Kindness over hatred;
➢ Peace instead of turmoil.

We get to choose the work that makes our hearts happy; we get to choose the relationships that nurture our souls; we get to care for these beautiful bodies that have been given to us.

We get to choose to see beauty in all things; to hold all as sacred, as divinely given.

We get to choose to act even in the face of insurmountable odds. We get to choose to begin again no matter how often it is that we have failed.

We get to see the majesty of this very moment; and we get to choose to believe that the best is yet to come.

And above all else, we get to choose love…

Because we are free.

Celebrate your independence day.

It’s Halftime!

by Walt | Jun 27, 2013 | Success | 0 Comments

There won’t be any racey ‘costume malfunction’ to talk about ’round the old water cooler on Monday morning; no half-time show, no marching band, no dazzling commercial break.

There won’t be any balls that drop or clocks that flash or hats to wear or horns to blow.

It’ll slide by quite unnoticed.

And the end of this month: Half the year. Gone already.

Remember way back when… when you thought about the year ahead? Your hopes and goals and dreams and aspirations? That new job, the fitness program, the book, the painting, the weight, the product launch, the relationship that was gonna get fixed, that trip you wanted to take?

Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you… .

Where you ‘at?’

If you’ve been doing the work… if the game’s gone well: CONGRATULATIONS. Enjoy this half-time… Revel in the rewards of your hard-fought efforts; take in the view and celebrate your successes. (Certain achievement freaks I know aren’t very good at this… and time for rest and reflection are so critically important to the work we do.)

If, though, you’ve woken up and wondered where the time has gone, why it seems to be the same ol’ same ol’, you’re not alone…

But don’t despair: there’s still time.

Here’s the mistake most folks make though: They look at the calendar… it’s summer… vacations… kind hot in the northern hemisphere… (winter…cold in the southern… ). A lot of distractions; days off; kid activities; too humid to exercise; people tough to get a hold of; meetings, conferences difficult to convene…. way better to put that ‘thing’ I’ve been meaning to do off to September… yeah, fall is a much better time to start… Kids will be back in school. New beginning then… .
And the months will slide by… and September will come… And there will be other distractions and reasons not to begin.

The time is now.

In every moment, there is a chance to begin again.

If you haven’t started, start now. (Click HERE for our exclusive template that will help jump start you.)

Small consistent steps over time lead to magnificent results.

Live deeply into these long summer days ahead.

Don’t miss a one.

Go To The Well

by Walt | Jun 20, 2013 | Success | 1 Comment

This is an encore of a piece first published in September 2011. Apropos as I re-visit the well… .

When this blog posts, I will be at the well.

For me, it’s a little place in West Cork perched on a hill overlooking the North Atlantic. There is no TV, no Internet, no cell phone. There is the sound of the sea, and the wind in the trees. Nothing else.

It is the place I go – not often enough – to rest and rejuvenate; to re-create.

All of us have these places – maybe far away – maybe close at hand – always too seldom visited – where we can refresh our spirits.

a quiet litttle corner in the local library
the mountain bike trail just outside of town
a little church on Sunday mornings
the coffee shop in the village an hour’s drive from here
the beach side cottage; that little place in the mountains

We avoid these places because

it fells unproductive
there’s too much to do
we don’t have the time right now
we haven’t done enough to give ourselves a break
tomorrow will work better than today

And tomorrow stretches into next month. Into not at all.

When I came to the well this time ’round, I slept for two days – a sure sign I had been away too long. And now I sit and soak in the silence – and read and write and run and rest. And yes, still battle the demons within myself: am I wasting time?

A dear friend of mine confessed to me recently that he hadn’t gone to his well in quite awhile because he hadn’t “earned it” – he hadn’t done enough yet to justify going there.

Here’s the paradox of the well: It is the place – the Source – from which we draw our strength, not a just reward.

There is a truism in mountaineering: hydrate or die.

Go to the well. Go there today.

Use It or Lose It

by Walt | Jun 13, 2013 | Success | 0 Comments

Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you… and I’m talkin’ about your summer vacay.

Use it!

Did you know that the average American worker leaves 9.2 days of vacation “on the table” every year?

I used 13 weeks of vacation last year… and if you’ve got nine or ten more days that you’re not going to use, I’ll take them! I’m not bashful… and when it comes to vacay, I’m damn greedy.

I remember vividly my very first day at the “big firm.” Fresh out of law school, I was about to launch the career I had been working toward for so long. My mentor-to-be was reviewing the “expectations” of the firm with me. When he came to the vacation policy, he said, “You get three weeks of vacation every year… but nobody really takes them.”

That seemed pretty screwed up to me. I immediately booked three weeks of vacation.

Taking time away is a fundamental tool for success.

I know this sounds paradoxical, but it’s not.

And it’s a difficult lesson to learn.

Here’s the scoop: Computers are built to keep running all-day and all-night; 24/7, 365 days a year. Humans: not so much.

We need to rest; we need to recover; we need to stop.

Of course, culturally we’re told otherwise… We’re told that in order to succeed, that in order to thrive in business, we need to put in more time; that we need to work harder and longer; that something’s wrong with us if we can’t keep the pace; that time off is for sissies.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I learned this the hard way when I started training for marathons and ultras. Being a goal-oriented, success-driven, Type-A, trial lawyer kinda guy, I presumed that the secret for optimal training was to run more miles every day.

What I discovered was that the training actually had a much different rhythm to it:

there was a mix of short and long runs;
the long runs got progressively longer;
after pushing out the miles, we’d dial back the distance;
then the big surprise: there were days that we didn’t run at all!

Rest days! Imagine that!

And not only that, but I learned that the rest days were integral parts of the training; that you’d get injured if you didn’t rest; that rest and recovery actually helped to build the strength and endurance! That you could run further and faster after you had rested!

That in order to go the distance, you actually needed to stop.

The same is true in business.

Tony Schwartz in his ground-breaking book Be Excellent At Anything, says: “We’re guided by a fatal assumption that the best way to get more done is to work longer and more continuously. But the more hours we work and the longer we go without real renewal, the more we begin to default, reflexively, into behaviors that reduce our own effectiveness – impatience, frustration, distraction, and disengagement.”

We’re designed to “pulse” Schwartz says. “We’re hardwired to make waves – to be alert during the day and to sleep at night, but also to work at high intensity for limited periods of time and then rest and refuel.”

And there’s hard science to back this up! Rest and recovery are as essential for productivity and achievement in business as they are for athletic success.

So if you really want to be a super-achiever: Schedule your vacation this summer… and take it!

(p.s. Oh, by the way: Vacations are away from snail mail, email, voicemail, texts, tweets, links in and other social media updates… otherwise they don’t really count.)