Walt Hampton, J.D.

Creating the Work & Life You LOVE

Book ‘Em, Danno

by Walt | May 16, 2013 | Leadership, Success | 0 Comments

“Book it,” I said, like McGarrett on Hawaii Five-0.

I was working with a young woman who wanted to start speaking in order to promote her business. We had talked about her core message, about the structure of her talk, about her target audiences, and about the offer she would make from the stage.

I told her to email me her outline; that on our next call we would start to flesh out the substance of the talk.

But before she did any of that, I told her: Book the first gig; get it on the calendar.

“Say what?” she said.

You see, folks can learn to become pretty good at goal setting. If you’ve been down the personal and professional development road at all, you’ve probably done some vision boarding and mind-mapping. And most folks, when they stop long enough, can get clear on their outcomes.

So why are so many dreams left undone?

Because so many of us fail to ever start out toward them.

Getting going is the challenge.

You may not have reflected on this too deeply: But inertia is a horrible law. Immutable. Kinda like gravity. And like gravity, it can serve up some pretty harsh lessons.

If you don’t start, nothing happens.

One surefire strategy for overcoming inertia is this: Make it inevitable.

• If you want to start to speak, book a talk.

• If you want to go to Florence, buy the ticket.

• If you want to get in shape, hire the trainer.

• If you want to learn a language, sign up for the course.

Make an announcement. Send out the press release.

Pull the trigger. Get it on the calendar. Set it in concrete.

When I first got the idea of running an ultra-marathon, I found a race and registered for it. Then I told everyone I met on the street that I was running this way cool race. Then I bought a training manual. And then I started to train. (Wow, you’re thinking, that’s pretty upsetting…definitely want to avoid this dude as a coach.)

I remember thinking about the process of planning the outline for developing the overview in preparation for the drafting of the structure for my first public talk… yeah kinda like that… until my own coach made me make the call and book the gig. It scared me shitless. But there was nothing quite like that glaring, looming, ever approaching date to drive momentum.

Inertia no more.

So whatever it is you’ve been thinking about doing, wanting to do: Make it inevitable.

There is magic in the starting.

Are You All In?

by Walt | May 9, 2013 | Success | 0 Comments

Clarity is the key, we tell our coaching clients. You can’t hit a target you can’t see.

Action too is essential. Without action, you get nowhere.

But while these principles are true, they’re not the whole story. You can be clear as a bell; you can take any number of steps toward your goal; and still not get the outcome you seek.

The goal will elude you.

Unless you’re all in.

I remember as a young associate at a big law firm being quite clear that I wanted my own business, my own practice. I can remember thinking about it (for a long time), talking with colleagues about it, buying books about it, reading about it, researching what it would take, even ordering business cards! But until I actually put the date on the calendar on which I was going to quit the big firm, until I announced to the partners that I was leaving, until I tendered my written resignation, it all stayed safely within the realm of fantasy.

I hadn’t been all in.

On a recent coaching call, a client shared with me his frustration over the lack of progress in his business’ development. Growth was flat, he said. Turns out he was continuing to work on other projects… giving only intermittent attention to his real goal, his real love; still tentative… because he wasn’t yet… all in.

There was still uncertainty; still ambiguity and ambivalence. Still the possibility of turning back. And it was showing up – unambiguously – in the bottom line.

Ann and I have the best gig on the planet. We so value the depth of the relationship we share… and the fun… What’s interesting though is that our relationship grew exponentially strong after we were married… when we finally knew in the depths of our hearts that we were all in.

There’s that ancient military adage: If you want to take the island, burn the boats.

In business, finance, careers, start-ups, product launches, creative endeavors, relationships, fitness; whatever the goal… if it’s important enough:

Commit. Go all in.

Allow no means of escape.

I’m not suggesting this is easy. In fact it’s downright scary. And sometimes it needs to be a process… not a moment… and that’s ok.

But here’s what’s true: when you’re all in, the magic happens.

As W. H. Murray wrote, “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”

So if there’s an area of your life that’s not quite clicking, ask yourself, “Have I burned the boats? Am I all in?”

Stop The Madness

by Walt | May 2, 2013 | Success | 0 Comments

We’re just back from three weeks in Ireland.

We have a little place we go on a hillside overlooking the North Atlantic in County Cork. There is a rolling pasture. Some cows. A few farmers. A dog or two. There is no traffic, no hustle, no bustle; and other than a bit of birdsong and bee buzzing, there is no noise at all. In fact, it’s so quiet that you can hear your own ears ring.

We go to stop the madness.

You know what I’m talkin’ about. Most of us live lives that are stuck in fast-forward: places to go, things to do, kids to run around, businesses to build, bosses to please, clients to serve, things to create. And, oh yes, the bills to pay and the emails to read and the voice messages to return and the errands that need doing and the yard work that piles up. All good stuff. For the most part. And yet, even the onslaught of good stuff can feel like a deluge if we don’t, from time to time…

Stop the madness.

I was on the phone with a client of mine this week, a human resource manger. She shared with me how “under water,” and completely “buried” she feels with her workload; how she can’t possibly balance all that she needs to do… and is expected to do.

She’s not alone.

The evidence is incontrovertible that stress and overwhelm are endemic. Employers and the world expect more and more for less and less.

And here’s the problem: chronic stress and overwhelm compromise our immune systems, drastically decrease our productivity, and negatively impact both corporate profits… and our own bottom lines.

There is a ray of hope: This week Ariana Huffington will be co-hosting CNBC’s Squawk Box, one of the network’s flagship financial programs, with Mark Bertolini, the CEO of Aetna, the country’s third largest health insurer. They’re going to discuss “the growing trend in corporate America of taking steps – meditation, yoga, mindfulness trainings – to reduce stress and improve health and creativity.”

TG. It’s about time!

Apparently there is – finally – an emerging recognition that these “soft” topics should no longer be relegated to the realm of “voodoo economics,” but rather treated as the serious risks to corporate, and yes individual, wellness that they are.

It has long been challenging for me as a leadership trainer and business coach to pitch to a group of professionals or execs – especially physicians and attorneys – the need to slow down; the necessity of going “off the grid,” the obligation we have to ourselves to be attentive and mindful. The professional world is hard-driving, achievement orientated; evaluated in terms of sales figures, hours billed, productivity… and dollars. Those who want (or need) a “break,” those who want (or need) to stand, even for a moment, beyond the fray, are perceived as weak. And in this model, the “weak” do not inherit the earth.

But the “cost-benefit” analysis has been done. And the verdict is in: We can’t keep running our tanks dry. We lose our resiliency. We diminish our creativity. We damage our health. (And profits suffer!)

Our emotional wellness is, in fact, a core component of who we are and how we relate to the world.

So people: yoga and meditation are mainstream; they’re “in.” Those of you who have craved – and lobbied for – a saner way of life: you’re legit! You get to stop from time to time; you need to stop from time to time… Even (especially) if you wear a suit. And if you’re in a leadership position, it is essential that you see that your flock is getting “fed.”

As a closet practitioner of Vipassana for the last 18 years, I can finally come clean. As a trainer and coach, I have some hope.

And whatever it is you need to do for yourself, it’s time to stop the madness. (I can show you how!) It’s not a weakness. It’s your strength.

There Will Always Be Tigers

by Walt | Apr 25, 2013 | Success | 0 Comments

“I’m going to stop working in five years,” Peter said. “After I’ve finished paying for my son’s law school tuition.” (This after Peter told me that the average lifespan of a trial lawyer is 57. Peter, a trial lawyer, is 55.)

“I’m going to start the fitness program as soon as my son starts kindergarten.”

“I’m going to go back for my degree when my youngest is out of college.”

“We’re going to take the trip to France right after I finish the next project.”

“I can’t take time off this year; we’re down a staff member.”

“If the house didn’t need painting this year, we’d get away to the Cape.”

“If I could just find a new job and a fresh place to live, I could get out of this crappy relationship.” (This more than six months after we first had this conversation.)

“Before I do the product launch, I need to take the copywriting course and learn SEO.”

“I’m going to finish the book (really I am), but right now I just don’t have the time.”

As a coach, I hear every story there is about why it is that now is not the right time, the auspicious time, the convenient time to do what we feel called to do, drawn to do, really want to do; to do what makes our hearts sing, our spirits soar.

Perhaps out of fear (of success or failure), or convention (what will people think?) or inertia or resistance, we create (artificial) barriers to the lives we really want to live; we imagine forces that must be fought and overcome before we do what really makes us happy. We imagine tigers that must be slain.

I love that old Buddhist story of the monk who is being chased through the jungle by tigers. He comes to the edge of a cliff as the tigers close in behind him. A hundred feet below, six more tigers claw at the base. The monk jumps from the cliff and on his way down grabs for a vine to stop himself. As he hangs by the vine, he sees a mouse gnawing at it. And just in that moment, he spies a fresh ripe strawberry growing out from the cliff face. The monk plucks the strawberry, tastes it and revels in its sweetness. ”My how good this is,” he says.

Here is the truth: Now is all we have. Now is the only moment in which we can create the lives we want to live.

As I write in Journeys, “dreams delayed are dreams denied.”

When we defer the call of our souls, we get angry and sad and bitter and resentful.

And the reality is, a step in the direction of our dreams usually doesn’t require a whole lot of time or a ton of resources or monumental change. We don’t need to throw the baby (or the husband) out with the bathwater. The step forward can be a tiny one.

And then another.

Do what you’ve always dreamed of doing.

Do it now.

There is no time to waste.

There will always be tigers.

_______________________________________________

This is an encore of a post first published on October 4, 2012

Who The Hell Do You Think You Are?

by Walt | Apr 18, 2013 | Success | 1 Comment

This is a guest post by Ann Sheybani.

Do you think people are chosen for awards and recognition because they shine so brightly the world can’t possibly ignore them? That they get plucked, in all of their magnificence, from total obscurity and dropped center stage?

Do you think the golden few that get the grants, or the prizes, or the big gigs, or the publications are far more gifted, or privileged, or connected than you?

Do you think you need to have all your ducks in a row, or work for years to develop a reputation, or follow all the rules before someone out there will toss you a bone?

Awhile back I was attending an awards ceremony for regional authors when I spotted an odd, awkward girl I’d met the year before seated on the panel of judges. There she was, an unpublished 24-year-old with eye contact issues, evaluating the merits of some serious writers.

Of course me being me, I asked her how she’d landed on that panel. She happily explained that she’d been blogging for several years, and interning at a city magazine, and listening to people talk about various opportunities in the local publishing arena. She’d simply picked up the phone one day, called one of these folks, and volunteered her services.

I’m always amazed at the sort who wake up one morning and decide they’re going to do something they’ve never done before. No real experience, or proven expertise, or impressive qualifications, they just throw themselves into the mix.

I’m not sure if it’s confidence, or naivete. Perhaps it’s a combination of both.

My girlfriend Beth had never considered herself a looker, but one day she decided, for whatever reason, to compete in a beauty pageant. She filled out an application, read the rules, and several months later placed runner up in the Mrs. Connecticut competition.

One of my coaching clients, Kriste, talked with me about her desire to become a mommy blogger. With no writing background, or obvious audience, she began submitting pieces to a site she follows and, viola, she’s a regular guest contributor. (I took a peak at her post the other day and she had a hell of a lot more comments than I. So get cracking people, I have a reputation to protect.)

I can’t tell you the number of gutsy people I know who have taken a personal success, or a burning passion and turned it into a viable, moneymaking business. Average people who got sick of nine-to-five jobs that paid for shit, or got laid off in the down economy. They bought themselves a domain name, learned how to build out a site, and held themselves out as weight-loss experts, search engine optimizers, online magazine editors, virtual assistants, media consultants, and confidence coaches, just to name a few.

An online guru I follow named Laura Roeder, explained how she got named one of The Top 100 Entrepreneurs Under 30. Ready for this? She submitted an application. In other words, nobody picked her needle out of a freaking haystack.

It was my coach, Kristin Thompson, who pushed my ass onto a stage farrrrr before I thought I was ready. She said, “If you’re going to fill workshops, and build a coaching business, you will never do it sitting in your pajamas on your couch.” Thanks to her incessant nagging, I learned to pick up the phone, call coordinators, and get my talks booked in lots of venues.

I had to overcome, by the way, The Impostor Syndrome: that fear of being discovered as someone who does not know what she is doing or does not belong.

I have no doubt everyone I’ve mentioned thus far felt the same way.

But my favorite story of electing yourself for the position, of just throwing your raggedy hat into the ring and seeing what happens, is the one about the Australian ultra-runner Cliff Young. Honestly, you’ve got to see this clip to believe it!

Here are a few points I’d like to leave you with:

Elect yourself
“Winners” aren’t chosen at random, they apply for the job
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no
The pizza deliveryman will not show up at your door bearing an invitation
Opportunities will rarely fall in your lap, no matter how much you deserve them
You get what you negotiate; not what you deserve
Ask yourself, WHY NOT ME?
Getting your foot in the door is only the beginning. Then you’ve got to do the work
When you think you don’t have what it takes, that you simply don’t belong, think of Cliff