Walt Hampton, J.D.

Creating the Work & Life You LOVE

If Ya Wanna Be A Go-Giver

by Walt | Dec 13, 2012 | Leadership, Success | 0 Comments

I had the privilege this week of speaking to an amazing group of human resource managers, folks who spend their lives in the service of others. I wanted to share with you the words I shared with them, because the challenge they face is one that many of us struggle with, regardless of the work we do.

One of my very favorite business books is Bob Burg’s “The Go-Giver.” If you don’t have it in your business library, run out and get it. It’s a wonderful parable about a struggling young salesman. The lesson is: The more you give, the more you will be open to receive. Or as Zig Zigler said, “You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”

To be truly successful, the giving comes first.

But that’s not want I want to talk with you about tonight. Because being go-givers is not our challenge. If you’re standing in this room, you are a go-giver: every day of the week, all year long. You give: To your teams, to your staff, to your personnel, to your clients. You give, and you give and you give some more.

Being go-givers is what we do.

No, our challenge, as we come to the end of the year, is something much more daunting. Our challenge is something that many of us are not very good at; something that seems to many of us to have a dark and forbidding underbelly to it. Our challenge is this: To take care of ourselves. To nurture ourselves, to invest in ourselves, to re-create ourselves so that tomorrow…and the next day… and the day after that… and when we wake up on January 2, we can do it all over again.

When I spoke about this idea at a recent training workshop, one of the attendees, a parent, a mom, raised her hand and wondered aloud whether taking care of herself was selfish.

It’s not. In fact, failing to replenish ourselves is the ultimate in selfishness. Because – here’s the truth – if our tanks are empty, if we have nothing left – then what is there to give?

Most of you have flown, I trust. You get on the airplane. And just as the plane is being pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant comes out for that safety schpeel. And one of the things that he or she says is that in the event that the cabin loses pressure, an oxygen mask will drop down. And whose mask are you instructed to put on first? Yes, your told to put on your own mask first – before helping others.

Why? Here’s the truth: If you don’t put on your own mask first, if you don’t take care of yourself first, no one else will; and as important, you’re no good to anyone else. You can’t do a thing for anyone else if you’re dead on the cabin floor.

But we seem to forget this. Or pretend it’s not true. Or we convince ourselves that somehow we’re being noble. We engage in endless giving, endless self-sacrifice, endless depletion; because we think we “should;” and we get to the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of the year… and we have nothing left.

So our challenge – especially as we come to the end of this year and stand on the threshold of a new one – is to reclaim what is oxygen for us, to rediscover what lights up our hearts, what nurtures our souls.

Is it writing?

Is it painting?

Is it running?

Is it travel and adventure?

Is it getting in touch with your body again?

Maybe it’s a long walk in the woods with your dog; or sitting by the fire with the New York Times; or sharing a glass of wine with an old friend.

Whatever it is, our call – our obligation to ourselves and to those we truly love – is to heal ourselves; to get in touch with what feeds us again. And go and do it.

And we don’t really have the luxury of putting this off. Think how fast this year has gone. The sands run quickly through the glass.

The late great Steve Jobs once said, “For the past 33 years, I’ve looked in the mirror each morning and asked myself this question: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I do what I’m about to do today?’ And if the answer was ‘no’ for too many days in a row, I knew that I needed to do something different.”

There is poignancy and urgency to this.

Because, at the end of our lives, none of us is going to wish that we had spent more time in the office, billed more hours, made more calls, sent more emails, updated our Facebook status more frequently. What will matter will be the experiences we have had, and the love we have shared. What will matter is whether we have fulfilled the deepest longings of our hearts, whether we have spend ourselves not on the urgent, but on the important; whether we have lived without regret.

You have gifts that only you can share with the world. But to do that well, you need to be whole and complete; you need to be vibrant and alive. You know that you expect that of your people. And only you can make that happen for yourself.

Your inbox will still be full when you’re dead.

So reclaim your dreams; reclaim the song in your heart; reclaim the grand vision for your lives; reclaim what is oxygen for you.

Reclaim the fun.

Reclaim the laughter.

Reclaim the joy.

If you can’t do it just for yourself, do it because you care so much for those you serve.

“And now,” as Rainer Maria Rilke writes, “let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been.”

May it be filled with peace and all good things.

Do You Have A BHAG?

by Walt | Dec 6, 2012 | Adventure, Journeys, Success | 1 Comment

This is not some special rare breed of dog reserved for a select few.

No, everyone should have a BHAG.

And what an especially auspicious time of year to think about getting one!

A BHAG is a big hairy audacious goal.

If you don’t have a BHAG, you should get busy now.

You see, a true-bred BHAG lights up our life, sets us on fire; it’s one of those things that gets us up in the morning and drives us forward. A well-fed BHAG gives shape and meaning to our lives.

Everyone, yes everyone, needs a BHAG.

A BHAG can change the world:

Martin’s dream was a BHAG;
JFK’s moon program was a BHAG;
Edison’s light bulb was a BHAG;
Salk’s vaccine was a BHAG;
Mandela’s vision was a BHAG.

Abraham Lincoln had a big-assed BHAG; Mother Theresa had a BHAG; the Dalai Lama has a BHAG.

Thank god, for BHAGs, huh?

But BHAGs can be much more personal too, like:

Writing a book – that’s a BHAG;
Running a marathon;
Launching a business;
Composing a song;
Getting a job;
Staring a family;
Healing a wound

Anything with a grand arc, a big palette; anything that requires us to move and stretch beyond our comfort zones qualifies as a BHAG.

Get quiet; get still. Set aside some good quality time to think about your BHAGs for the year to come. Journal them out, write them down. Make a vision board, a mind map. Brainstorm with your accountability partner, your mastermind group, your coach, your buddy, your friend. Move it outside yourself. Make it real. Commit to it. Set a deadline. Put it in motion. Now’s the time.

Without our BHAGs, our horizons become flat; our existences vanilla.

BHAGs build muscle and resiliency. They bring us face to face with frustration and failure. They bring us tears and laughter; sadness, joy and exaltation. They change the face of who we are. And like ripples in a pond, touch distant shores in ways we cannot comprehend.

BHAGs require nothing less than the full dimension of our humanity. Indeed, they are the very essence of who we are.

Sure, some BHAGs can be messy like those special breeds of dogs. But every life needs a BHAG.

And the world is waiting. So, don’t wait another minute – find yours now.

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This BHAG, climbing Denali, Mt. McKinley, occupied my imagination for more than three decades. If you need help bringing shape to yours, inquire about our coaching. It will change your life!

It’s Just A Bad Hair Day

by Walt | Nov 29, 2012 | Success | 1 Comment

I’m old; I’m fat; I’m out of shape; I’ve lost my edge.

At least those were the stories I began to tell myself.

I pushed on. Turned out it was just an off day.

Some days are like that: Some days, it feels as if someone has poured cement into my running shoes. On other days, I flow like the wind.

All of us have days when it flows; and days when it doesn’t.

The problem is that, when it doesn’t flow, we tend to think that it “means” something; that something’s wrong; that’s something’s broken; that the magic has vanished. We get dark and despondent. We think it will last forever. We get discouraged. We want to quit.

The truth is: Some days it just doesn’t flow.

And it doesn’t mean a damn thing.

This is true in writing, in business, in finance, in relationships, in art, in music. Shit, I’m fairly certain it’s true in everything.

Some days, it’s just a bad hair day.

Thankfully, there’s a remedy: Show up the next day; and the next. Pretty soon it will flow again. Just as long as you haven’t given up.

I recently heard an audience member ask best selling author Theresa Ragan what the secret to her success was, what her secret was for being so prolific. She said that she showed up every day, “put her butt in the chair,” and wrote.

Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way said that our only job as creatives is to “show up on the page;” to be present on the canvas.

George Leonard who wrote the book Mastery using the metaphor of his Aikido practice said that our only job on the path to mastery (in anything) is just “to show up on the mat.”

This means showing up in the practice room, the board room, the laundry room, the bedroom; this means showing up in the classroom, on the track, in the studio, no matter what happened yesterday; or the day before; or the day before that.

Whether it flowed brilliantly; or not.

The judging, the evaluating, the questioning, the hand wringing, the self-deprecation: they’re all just distractions; they’re all just a waste of time and energy.

Our job – our only job – is to show up and do the work.

The rest will take care of itself.

Re-Runs of Lost

by Walt | Nov 26, 2012 | Success | 0 Comments

The next five weeks can get lost if we don’t watch out.

Yes, the holidays are here again. It’s easy to put off the diet, the exercise, the fitness, the launch, the new biz, the writing, the practice, the composition, the painting, the project, the chapter.

It’s easy because there are receptions and parties, and gatherings and get togethers, and shopping and wrapping; and rushing. Yes, lots of rushing. And really no one is doing much of anything anyway; certainly not much of anything to mention other than “stuff.”

We’ll get to all those (important) things after the holidays, after the first of the year.

After the momentum’s been lost; not to mention those five (precious) weeks.

Kinda like last year.

We forget what a wonderful time of year it is to re-commit to our practices and our disciplines. We forget that in five weeks time there is still so much progress we can make toward our dreams; still so much time to complete what we set out to do this year. Still so much promise. Still so much that can be created and shared with the world.

And we forget, in the hurry and hubbub of it all, what a great time of year it is to reflect on all that’s gone well this past year; to study and celebrate the successes; to evaluate and learn from the challenges; and to plan, to begin to cue up the pieces for an exciting year ahead.

Yes, the holidays are here again. And yes it’s time to connect and rejoice; and revel in the mystery and the magic of the season.

Knowing that re-runs of “lost” are optional.

Just A Flesh Wound

by Walt | Nov 22, 2012 | Journeys, Success | 0 Comments

King Arthur: [after Arthur’s cut off both of the Black Knight’s arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You’ve got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It’s just a flesh wound.
–Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Here are some important questions: Do you focus on your weaknesses? Do you focus on what’s not going well?

Or, instead, do you focus on your strengths, your successes, your achievements?

These are important questions because the truth is this: What we focus on expands.

When we focus on what’s good, we get more of what’s good; when we focus on what’s not working, we’re likely to get more of what’s broken.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m a big believer in identifying our limiting beliefs and cutting them to ground. They’re energy suckers that lurk in the shadows. They need to be called out and eliminated.

I’m a big believer too in strategic assessment. If something’s not working, it doesn’t make sense to keep doing it over and over again.

But I’m not talking about the beliefs that trip us up or strategies that need tweaking.

What I’m talking about is the propensity to get stuck in hand-wringing, self-defeating self-fulfilling prophecy and pessimism.

We don’t have to look far these days for bad news, for things that aren’t going particularly well.

And all of us have suffered wounds in our lives: physical wounds, wounds of abuse, wounds of loss, wounds of criticism, money wounds, and wounds of self-esteem.

But most of us can also recall times in our lives when things have gone especially well, when things have been on a roll; and as my mentor, Tony Robbins says, “success leaves clues;” clues that can catapult us to new heights.

When we acknowledge those successes, when we hold them with gratitude, when we honor them: we honor what is good in ourselves, we honor our ability to co-create, we honor the divine within us.

We live in an age that is the greatest in all of our human history; on the eve of astounding ideas, technological advances and innovation; with opportunities for prosperity and abundance beyond our wildest imaginations.

Leadership expert Brendon Burchard says, “Unhitch yourself from the past — you won’t believe how fast you can run in the present.” The past is just the past.

We can kvetch; or we can create. There’s no time for both.

We may falter along the path. There may be a few flesh wounds along the way. But a loving Universe lifts us up and conspires for our success.

Let us acknowledge our blessings, all that is good, all that is working, all of our successes. May we learn; may we grow; may we prosper.

With grateful hearts.

Because: what we focus on expands.