Walt Hampton, J.D.

Creating the Work & Life You LOVE

Get Out Of Jail Free

by Walt | Nov 15, 2012 | Success | 3 Comments

I have the coolest speaking gig this week: I’m giving the commencement address to 20 graduates, ages 17 to 20, who have completed their GED – in prison! I feel so extremely lucky to have the opportunity to be a voice for them. As this week’s blog, I want to share with you the words that I will share with them:

First of all, congratulations to each one of you!

What you have achieved through your hard work here is extraordinary. Knowledge can never be taken away from you. Knowledge is power.

I am happy – and privileged – to be your graduation speaker here today. But I am under no delusions of grandeur. Frankly, I don’t remember who any of my graduation speakers were. And, of the dozens of commencement addresses I have heard over the years, I remember very few of them. (In fact, the only ones I really remember are the ones that I have given.) I don’t expect that any of you will remember me. But I am hopeful that at least some of you will remember the secret that I am about to share.

How many of you would like to know the secret of all wealth and happiness; the secret of all prosperity and success? Would it be useful to you to know the one thing that will ensure that you could do and achieve anything you ever dreamed of doing? No matter where you are, no matter what your circumstance?

Give me just 20 minutes – and I will share with you that one thing – that one secret that can switch up the entire game for you.

Let me start by telling you three short stories:

1. The first is about a man who was born in a tiny one-room house. His mother died when he was 9. His sister died; his girlfriend died. He was only able to go to school for a year and a half. He got fired from his first job. He tried to start a business and he failed. He wanted to get involved in government. So he ran for the state legislature. He lost. In fact, over the years, this man suffered failure after failure after failure, loss after loss after loss, in his efforts to become more involved in politics. But despite his loses, he kept moving forward. In 1860, he was elected the 16^th president of the United States. This is the story of Abraham Lincoln who we revere as one of the greatest presidents in our entire history.

2. The second story is about a woman who was born into poverty in rural Mississippi. She was raised by a single-mother. At the age of 9, she was raped. After years of abuse, she left school and ran away from home. She got pregnant when she was 14; her child died shorty after he was born. She went back to school – and discovered that if she applied herself, she could do well. She graduated from high school. She went on to college. When she was 19, she went to work at a radio station. They loved her. Then she went to work for a television station and did well. So well, in fact, that she eventually started her own television network. Through her work, she has impacted millions of lives around the globe. She runs a school for girls in Africa. She has become one of the richest and most influential women in the world; and for a time was world’s only black billionaire. Of course, I’m telling you the story of Oprah Winfrey.

3. My third story is about a man who was born in South Africa at a time when a violent white minority dominated the land. This man felt strongly about the injustices that he saw and he spoke out often. In 1962, he was arrested, tried and convicted. He spent the next 27 years of his life – longer than any of you have been alive – in prison. While in prison, he studied language, and history and politics and law and government. He studied all of the dialects of his people. And in spite of the harsh conditions, he exercised, he took care of his body and his mind and his spirit.

After his release from prison, he was elected the president of South Africa. And was awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace. This is the story of Nelson Mandela.

What do these three people have in common?

Each of them was disadvantaged.
Each of them had overpowering challenges when they were young.
Each of them failed and failed and failed again.
Each one faced unbelievable, seemingly unbearable, hardship.

Yet:

Each chose not to be bitter.
Each chose not to give up.
Each chose not to get lost in blame.
Each chose not to accept mediocrity.
Each chose not to run away from adversity.
Each one chose not to accept failure.

Let me ask you a question: Do you know how steel is made? You know, the stuff we make bridges out of?

Iron ore is taken from the earth; the ore is lumpy and not very strong. It’s put in a blast furnace at 1600º. The impurities are burned away in the fire. And the end result is a material that can holdup skyscrapers.

Abraham Lincoln wasn’t born the president who changed the face of our country. He became the Abraham Lincoln we revere; he became that man through all of the difficult times, through all of the challenges, through all of the failures.

Oprah Winfrey wasn’t born one of the wealthiest and most powerful women on the planet. She was born into poverty and abuse. She became the woman who is loved and admired by millions, who does so much for so many; she became the person she is today because of the hardships she faced, and overcame.

Nelson Mandela wasn’t born the leader of South Africa. He didn’t grow up knowing that he would become the voice of apartheid. He became the man who won the Nobel Peace Prize – who changed the face of an entire nation – through the daily choices he made over more than 27 years in prison.

They became.

They built their lives of steel by walking through the fire where they were tested, tortured, tried. And they became the people they are.

So what is the secret?

Obviously it’s not money; obviously it’s not race; obviously it’s not gender; obviously it’s not where you’re born; or whether you have one parent or two. Obviously, it’s not about whether you’ve been in prison or not. Obviously it’s not about privilege – or luck.

No, there is only one common denominator.

There is only one secret.

The secret is choice.

These people made choices.

You see it is the choices that we make that determine our success.

In every moment of our day, each one of us is called upon to make choices. And every choice we make, whether large or small, will either ensure our ultimate success; or consign us to lives of frustration and failure.

Who we hang with is a choice.
How we care for our bodies is a choice.
How we treat others is a choice.

Integrity is a choice.
Excellence is a choice.
Greatness is a choice.
Discipline is a choice.
Commitment is a choice.
Success is a choice.

Life doesn’t happen to us. We happen to life.

And here’s an important truth: (This may be the most important thing I say to you this afternoon. This may be the most important thing you ever hear.)

Each of us is unique.
Each of us is a singularity

There is no one who has your gifts and talents.
There has never been and there will never be another you.

From this place here today, from this fire:

Will you be brave enough to own your own uniqueness?
Will you be strong enough to claim your own vision?
Will you have the courage to speak with your own voice?

In this room, could there be a voice for social justice? Could there be a peace maker? Could there be an Emmy winning screen writer? Could there be a multi-platinum musician? A life saving firefighter? In this room, could there be a senator? A visionary scientist? A best-selling author?

I dare say there could be. For you see, I believe that anything is possible – when you choose.

It is the choices that we make in the fires of our lives that will determine our greatness.

Victor Frankl was a doctor in Vienna, Austria when the Nazi’s came to power. He had the opportunity to escape and come to the United States. But instead, he chose to stay to care for his family. The Nazis came for him. They seized and destroyed all of his writings and research that he had spent his entire life working on. They put him in the concentration camps with his wife and his parents. They exterminated his wife and his parents in the gas chambers; and burned their bodies in the crematoria.

Through all of this, Frankl chose to care for his fellow prisoners. He chose to believe that he would survive. He chose to believe that evil would be overcome, that good would prevail.

Frankl survived the war. And after he was set free, he wrote one of the greatest books of the 20^th century: Man’s Search For Meaning. In that book, Frankl said that our greatest gift, the greatest of all of our human gifts, is our power to choose how we will be in every moment, regardless of our circumstances.

Choose to believe that you are an original.
Choose to believe that there is no one else like you.
Choose to believe that you have a contribution to make; that you have gifts and talents that only you can give to the world.
Choose to believe that your voice matters – that your voice can change the world.
Choose to make your lives extraordinary.
Choose to make your lives a masterpiece.

Choose. And you will enjoy success beyond your wildest imaginations.

I believe in you.

I wish each of you – each and every one of you – lives filled with peace and all good things.

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For information regarding the speaking programs I offer or to check on my availability, email me at: [email protected]

Identity Theft

by Walt | Nov 8, 2012 | Finding The Way, Journeys, Success | 3 Comments

What is your “I am” statement?

Don’t go skipping through this blog so fast. Stop and answer the question.

How we define ourselves really matters. It determines everything: It determines whether we succeed or fail; whether we prosper and thrive; or whether we suffocate, wither and die.

I’ve spoken recently to a number of groups comprised of folks who are unemployed, under employed, between jobs. I’ve heard countless “I am” statements that sound like “I am unemployed;” “I am unable to find a job;” “I’m unable to work.” “I am out of options.”

While all of these statements I am sure are heartfelt and seem true, they are also incredibly narrow, limiting, self-defining. They’re not the totality of potential.

And they’re certainly not the purview of only those who face employment challenges.

In my coaching, I hear “I am” statements all the time: “I am too old to do that.” I’m too out of shape.” “I’m too busy.” “I’m too stressed out.” “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not someone who could ever do something like that.”

Then there are the organizations and the more-than-a-few substance-related groups that require their members to brand themselves with an “I am.”

And of course, my favorite “I am” stories are the ones I hear at networking gatherings and cocktail parties: “I’m an accountant.” “I’m a lawyer.” “I’m a financial planner.” “I’m a network marketer.”

We guys particularly enjoy these. There’s nothing like some good professional muscle flexing. “My ‘I am’ is definitely bigger than yours.”

“I am” statements become our realities, our narrow focus, our limiting beliefs; and the prisons of our minds.

It is the very worst form of identity theft: we steal our own potential by the tiny stories we make up about ourselves.

(And others.)

I love that scene from Exodus when Moses first meets God in the burning bush. God’s got a bunch of important assignments for Moses to be about. But before Moses heads back down the mountain, he wants to cozy up to God. So Moses asks for God’s name so that he can tell his peeps that he’s on a first name basis. God says, “I am who I am.” Tell them, “I am sent you.”

Of course generations have pissed and moaned, argued and fought, waged war and lobbed bombs over what they think ought to be tacked onto God’s “I am.”

But the bush wasn’t having it. Anything after the “I am” only serves to diminish.

The Universe is limitless; just as you are limitless.

Your “I am” statements can lay you flat; or make you fly.

So why not try on some new ones?

How about: I am abundant; I am loved; I am wealthy beyond measure.

Or try this one: I am unstoppable.

Think beyond the lines; think outside the box; in fact, just for a few moments, pretend there is no box.

What would yours be?

Write it down, make it real, share it in the comment section below.

Ash Hole

by Walt | Nov 1, 2012 | Journeys, Success | 0 Comments

Financial objectives; weight loss; fitness goals; career ladders; creative projects: sometimes it feels as if we’re making no forward progress; sometimes it feels as if we’re sliding backwards; in fact, sometimes it seems as if we’re caught in a deep dark hole.

If the goal is worthy and the strategy sound, there is only one real course of action: keep on keepin’ on.

I remember years ago, right after they re-opened Mt. St. Helens, my son, Joe, and I climbed to the crater rim. Seismically unstable, the trail had been shut down for years; the landscape scorched and shattered.

As we emerged from the forest, the upper slopes were covered with ash. We’d take a step up, and slide back; another step up, another slide back. It was like hiking on a beach that had been pitched at a 45º angle, grinding and relentless.

In the clear air under the hot sun, we could see our objective. But it never seemed to get any closer. Morale flagged; we were tempted to give up; it was so discouraging.

And so it often is.

When we get bogged down, it’s easy to get despondent, to lose the focus and resolve. We feel like quitting. But here’s the truth: it’s the small, steady efforts that yield the rewards. Over time, the plodding matters.

We hung our feet over the crater rim and laughed. The seeming futility throughout the effort of the climb had been almost comic. Yet the reward of that spectacular moment was beyond compare.

Darren Hardy tells the story of the man who cut his calorie consumption by just 125 calories a day; less than the “price” of a cup of cereal. After 31 months, the man had lost 33 ½ pounds. (125 calories a day x 940 days=117,500 calories x 1 pound/3500 calories=33 ½ pounds). I wonder how many times this dude looked in the mirror and said, “damn, I still look fat.”

At mile 32 of the Vermont 50 miler, I sat and wept. Thirty-two miles was the farthest I had ever run before; and 18 miles more seemed incomprehensible to me. I stood up and plodded onward: I picked those 18 off one mile at a time.

It’s one resume at a time; a few dollars more; an extra crunch or two; just another chapter. It’s one more lesson; another rejection; another practice session; a couple more laps around the track; just a draft or two more.

No matter how dark the hole or steep the ash, take a step; and then another.

You’ll be so glad you did.

Playmate of the Year

by Walt | Oct 25, 2012 | Journeys, Success | 0 Comments

Who are your playmates? Who are your buds? Who do you hang with?

It’s an absolutely essential question to consider. Because here’s a (potentially scary) truth: we are the average of the five folks we hang out with most. Average in terms of where we live, how we live, what we do, what we make. And average in terms of what standard we hold ourselves to; average in terms of what we aspire to do, be and have.

I was away in Miami last week at a Tony Robbins event. There wasn’t a lot of downtime to write. I might as well have been in Detroit – a Tony program can go 16 hours a day, for days at a time.

But, no matter. Ann and I are big Robbins’ fans. We’ve been to a bunch of his events. And this past week, we graduated from his Mastery University, a program that has made – and will continue to make – a profound impact on our lives.

Here’s what’s special about a program like Tony’s: you get to be with folks from all over the world who have incredible vision; who thirst for more, aspire for more, dream for more; who want to live with passion and purpose; who want to serve and to lead; who want to make a profound difference in the lives of others; who want to change the world; and who truly believe that the best is yet to come.

And although they come from all walks of life, they all have one thing in common: a burning desire to create masterpieces of their lives; to make their lives extraordinary.

Even though Ann and I hold ourselves to incredibly high standards as professionals, as distance runners, as mountaineers, we always find that, when we spend time with our fellow seekers, we are called even higher; that there is always room to step our game up even further; that there is always more that we can do to live and play full out. And we come away excited and hopeful and filled with possibility.

All too often in our weary world, we struggle to get by. It is our peeps, our buds, those we hang with, who lift us up, who pull (or push) us forward. And if you’re not careful, you can become enmeshed in the weariness of the world, pulled down by worry and anxiety, by pessimism and fear – and despair.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to find a group of like-minded folks who hunger for more, who want to set a new standard, who believe that anything is possible, who want incredible things for their lives, and for yours.

They’re out there.

Don’t settle. Don’t muddle. You deserve to fly.

It Can’t Be Done

by Walt | Oct 18, 2012 | Success | 0 Comments

It’s not enough to be busy. The question is, what are we busy about?
— Henry David Thoreau

I speak on Intentional Leadership, Purposeful Living, Success Principals and Goal Achievement.

The questions I get most often are about time management.

When polled, nearly 100% of my audiences say they feel as if their lives are “too busy.” Over 80% say that they drop into bed at the end of the day exhausted and depleted, without getting done anywhere near what they had hoped to accomplish in the day.

“How do you manage time?” they ask.

The answer: It can’t be done.

Time cannot be managed. Time just is.

The only thing that we can manage is ourselves.

But for the sake of discussion, I’ll share some thoughts this week on “time” management. Here are 7 “Secrets:”

Get Up An Hour Earlier. If you look at all of the time-management recommendations across the decades, you’ll find this suggestion mentioned often. For years I disregarded it; it seemed too painful. But what I have discovered is that, of all the time management principals, this is the most powerful one of all. I adopted it when I was a single dad and was tired of the frantic rush to get the kids up, the lunches made and then make the mad dash out the door feeling breathless and exhausted before I had even digested the breakfast that I was still juggling on my lap. At first, I had to ease into the early hour backing up the alarm 15 minutes at a time over 4 or 5 months. But it became my most important hour of the day. All mine. No distractions. No demands. No noise. It allowed me to ease into the day more peacefully, more patiently, more mindfully. And now, long after the kids have gone off, I use the time to journal and meditate and read and write. It is my most productive time. I guard it jealously and wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Turn Off The Tube. When I ask some of my coaching clients about their days, I discover that the TV goes on when they get home, and stays on until 11:00 pm when they drop into bed. You can pick up 4 or 5 hours every day of wonderfully productive time if you banish the television. That could be as much as 30 hours a week. That’s like a part-time job. Think of what you could accomplish with an extra 30 hours a week! You could take a course, launch a business, or write a book! You can get your news, weather and sports on your smart phone. There is nothing that the Kardashians will really add to the quality of your creative life, your marriage or your business. Get rid of the tube. (Between these first two “secrets,” you could “recover” 35 or 40 hours of time every week! That’s like having a whole other life!)
Avoid The In-Box. I was astounded by a recent statistic that suggested that more than 80% of folks sleep with their cell phones. That’s whacked. Don’t do that. Beyond that seemingly self-evident principal, don’t check your email when you first get up in the morning. Your In-Box is nothing more than a convenient repository of other people’s agendas for your day. Even if you just peek, those demands and expectations of others will seep into your sub-conscious and throw you off your stride. Your thoughts and plans for the day deserve your first attention.
Have A Plan. You cannot hit a target you cannot see. If you don’t have a plan for your day, someone else certainly will. If you don’t have a plan for your day, your day will be stolen from you and you can never get it back. Even if your day is a vacation day, you will lose it if you have not planned its boundaries carefully. Set aside some time in that first hour of your day, or better yet at the end of the day before, and map out your day. Decide on what is most important. Choose three things that matter most to you, the three things that, if you failed to accomplish those, you would feel as if your day had not been well spent. Do those three things first.
Commit and Schedule. Something floating in your head in an idea. Something written down is real. Once you have decided on your plan, once you have decided on those most important things, actually write them into the schedule for your day. There is something powerful about the written word. When you’ve scheduled it, it feels like an obligation. Even though I have had a work-out schedule for years that seldom varies, I always put it on my calendar. It rarely gets displaced because its locked in. I’ve committed.
Work In Block Time. Our lives are challenged by so many competing demands. And multi-tasking is a myth. It diminishes our productivity. Consider instead carving out chunks of time devoted to particular aspects of your day. Rather than checking email constantly on the fly, set aside a half hour in the morning and another at the end of the day to review and respond to emails. Set aside a half hour for your social media. Block out time twice a day to return your calls. And then schedule uninterrupted periods in your day, off the grid and away from your phone, when you can concentrate on your most important work. You will be amazed at how much more creative, efficient and productive you will become if you create these boundaries for yourself.
Say No. Most of us are great at making To Do Lists. And then, because we’re stretched so thin, we never get To Do most of what’s on our list. Try making a Stop Doing List. There are lots of things we do that are not productive or efficient or joyful or worthwhile. Stop doing them. Busy is not badge of honor. Busy is a bad habit. You don’t have to say yes to every PTO request, every bake sale, every invitation to a board membership, every volunteer request, every civic organization, every request for your precious time. Figure out what you value most in life, what gives you the most joy. Concentrate there. Apply the Paretto Principal, the 80/20 Rule, ruthlessly. Get rid of the 20% of things that give you 80% of your headaches. Concentrate on the 20% of activities that give you 80% of your satisfaction. The person who has said yes the most by the time they’re dead doesn’t get a prize. Learn to say no.

I have begun to use the Rapid Planning Method developed by Tony Robbins. RPM is “a simple system of thinking that creates extraordinary results and an amazing level of personal fulfillment.” Robbins believes that “A life of fulfillment is one in which we put urgency in its place and remember that the ultimate target is to spend our lives doing the things we believe are most important to us.” I like the system because it focuses on outcomes, on the results that align most with the ultimate vision I have for my life.

But regardless of the method you use, the take-home message is this: Time can’t be managed. And the sands do run out.

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This is an encore of a post first published in March 2012. Email me for more time management tips!