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Me Talk Dirty Sometimes

by Walt | Aug 18, 2016 | Success | 0 Comments

I was working this past week with a private client of mine, a very talented and prosperous wealth manager. She’s been working through an extremely complicated tax matter for a client of hers. She began telling me how “horrible” she’s been at certain aspects of the project, how she’s “screwed up” certain parts of the file, and how “overwhelmed” she’s been with all the “problems” that she’s been faced with.In my most sonorous coaching voice, I said, “Well that’s a pretty dramatic story.”Which, thankfully, stopped her dead in her tracks.“What would it be like to tell a different story, a more empowering story, a story that casts you as a more resourceful professional?” I asked.“Well, I’d feel much better,” she answered.Of course she would. And she’d be more effective too.What’s interesting is that, as entrepreneurs and professionals, we are often harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. We hold ourselves to incredibly high standards; even higher than those we hold for our people. We demand of ourselves sustained, uninterrupted peak performance. We are highly intolerant of our own weaknesses; and unforgiving of our shortcomings. We drive ourselves longer, harder and faster than we would ever reasonably expect of others.

We tell stories about ourselves, and use language to describe ourselves that we would rarely say out loud.We focus on what’s not working rather than on what’s working.We focus on our weaknesses rather than our our strengths.Yes, we talk dirty sometimes. About ourselves.Stop it. Stop it now.The two primary questions that confront every single one of us are: “Am I enough?” and “Will I be loved?”No one escapes. No one. Not presidents; not prime ministers; not kings.And at one time or another, every single one of us wonders whether we’re just a fraud in the world, playing some imaginary role; and we worry that it will just be a matter of time before someone finds us out.But knowing that these feelings of inadequacy are universal; knowing we’re not alone; we have a choice.We can focus on the good.We can focus on what’s working well.We can use more powerful, more resourceful language.We can choose not to talk dirty about ourselves.In the Book Yourself Solid® community, Michael Port has banished the words “struggle” and “overwhelm” because the words themselves create a negative story.Perhaps:

Problems are challenges.

Mistakes are lessons.

Dangers are opportunities.

So how do we become more resourceful with our language?We practice. Just like with anything else. Like strengthening a muscle. Like playing an instrument. Like learning Spanish.We practice. We catch ourselves in the act. (Or your coach catches you!)We practice. We fail. We start again.We tell better stories. We use better language.It’s a (life-long) work in process.Me talk dirty sometimes. You do too.Let’s stop it.Now.___________________________________________________________When you’re ready to create a new story, email me: [email protected]

Why You Need White Space

by Walt | Aug 11, 2016 | Success | 0 Comments

He was overwhelmed. Stressed out. “Slammed,” he said.

Of course, my client, a young lawyer, is not alone. The Economist reports that, in a recent study, 45% of executives cite lack of time as their biggest challenge in achieving their career goals.

I looked at a screenshot of his Google Calendar: A sea of colors; back-to-back appointments all week long.

No breaks; no respite.

No white space.

White space is the key to creating a saner life.

In my weekly planning, I deliberately create lots of white space on my calendar.

I create white space because sometimes things take longer than I think they will.

I create white space because unexpected interruptions crop up.

I always leave a big block of white space on either side of a coaching appointment. Beforehand, I want to have time to review my notes and think about my client; what we worked on in the last call; and where we want to go. Afterwards, I want time to finish up my notes, reflect on the work we’ve done, and consider where we need to go next.

White space allows us the time to:

Think

Reflect

Create

Read

Listen to music

Hydrate

Enjoy some quiet

Breathe

White space is a powerful time management secret.

With white space, we’re not as frenetic. We slow down. We’re more mindful. We’re more aware of the beauty and the majesty that surrounds us. We’re able to connect more deeply with others. We’re able to recognize what’s merely urgent; and what’s truly important. We’re more resilient and resourceful. And happier too.

If you really want a life that is rich and full and deeply satisfying; if you really want to serve the people you’re meant to serve; if you really want to make an impact in the world, then create more white space!

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AND if you’d like help with this, I have a powerful system. Email me today! [email protected]

Running In The Rain

by Walt | Aug 4, 2016 | Success | 0 Comments

It was raining. Hard. So hard that we had trouble seeing across our front lawn. Oh, and it was blowing, splattering against the windows.

We finished our coffee, laced up our shoes, and went out for our run.

Because we’re runners. And runners run. It’s a disciple, a practice. Something we do every day, regardless of the weather. Because we so value the outcome: our health and wellness.

Of course, it would have been easy not to run. The storm would have been a plausible excuse. But, you see, we live in Ireland. And if we decided not to run every time it rained, well, we likely wouldn’t run at all.

“What is easy to do is easy not to do,” Jim Rohn once said.

True for runners.

True for most things in business and in life.

For the most part, the steps necessary to create a healthy life, a great relationship and a successful business are pretty simple.

Easy to do; easy not to do.

All too often folks allow the circumstances and conditions of their day to dictate their action… or their inaction.

Having daily practices – non-negotiable things you do no matter what – changes everything. You make steady progress toward your goals because, every day, you’re doing the things you need to do… regardless of the “weather.”

Cathedrals are built one stone at a time; marathons get finished one step at a time; books get written one page at a time.

With discipline comes freedom.

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When you’re ready to create the powerful practices that will take you to your most cherished dreams and goals, email me: [email protected]

Do Less Succeed More

by Walt | Jul 28, 2016 | Success | 0 Comments

I didn’t run at all last week. Well, that’s not exactly true: I ran an ultra-marathon; 36 miles.

But the week leading up to the race: I didn’t run. (It’s what runners call the taper.)

It made me pretty crazy.

Not running screws with my mind: Who am I if I am not running? Will I get fat, weak, out of shape? Will I fall down the slippery slope into some roiling vat of Crisco or Krispy Kreme?

Runners run.

Doers do.

But maybe that’s not exactly true either.

Because success – real success, sustainable success – requires both doing and not doing.

And often, it’s the not doing that actually empowers us to do.

It’s incontrovertible that rest and recovery are essential components of peak performance in athletics… Not doing is critically important in the repair of muscle; in the recovery of tendons, ligaments and bones; in the re-balancing of hormones and body chemistry; in the recovery of our nervous system and mental state.

But rarely do we apply these principles to our businesses and our careers. (Or our lives for that matter!) We like to think (pretend) that they don’t apply to us; that we’re different; that we’re macho; that we can muscle through.

We keep going like hamsters on a wheel; 24/7/365. Always on; always connected.

We don’t stop; we don’t rest and recover. We never taper.

And then, of course,

Productivity drops

Stress soars

Decision fatigue creeps in

Mistakes multiply

Morale plummets

(Oh, and relationships get damaged and marriages unravel and our children grow distant and our health deteriorates and we forget why we were on the wheel to start with.)

But just a few tweaks can change up the entire game for you:

Sleep more. There is no more powerful tool for rest, recovery and peak performance than sleep; and most of us aren’t getting nearly enough.

Create some white space in your calendar; time between obligations and commitments that you can use to get a breath of fresh air, take a short walk, drink some water, listen to a bit of relaxing music, read a chapter in a book.

Hydrate. Drink water. Often. Throughout the day.

Take a mental health day (or half) day on a regular basis; step away from the work; and get off the grid.

Take your vacations. All of them. And make them real vacations. (A working vacation is not a vacation.)

When you embrace the science; when you take the time to nurture yourself; when you allow yourself to rest and recover; when you give yourself permission not to do; when you can see – and believe – that not doing is doing; then… then you re-create yourself; you come back stronger; you get to perform and serve at an even higher level; and make an even greater impact in the world.

I showed up at the staring line of my race (battling my demons of depravity); and ran the 36 miles; and crushed my previous times.

Sure, I trained. But training (and living) means doing… and not doing.

You: A Fraud

by Walt | Jul 21, 2016 | Leadership, Success | 0 Comments

Not.

But chances are that you’ve felt like one from time to time.

I had dinner recently with a high-ranking foreign official. She was appointed to her position by the president of her country, the first woman to hold it in over 700 years. Trained as a trial lawyer, she is bright, savvy, shrewd, articulate and attractive. And yet, she confessed, after every television and radio interview she does – and she does many – she comes away feeling like she’s making it up as she goes along, that she’s shallow and transparently inept, that she must have fooled someone to hold such an important job, that she’s… a fraud.

She’s not alone. More than 70% of folks have suffered from the “Imposter Syndrome;” and it is especially prevalent among successful women.

I can’t remember a time that I haven’t questioned myself before going out on stage to speak to a group: There is a little voice that asks, “Who am I to teach these things I want to say; what can I share with this audience that is of any use whatsoever; and what veracity does any of it have especially when I’ve struggled and thrashed as much if not more than the next guy?”

But here’s the truth: Each of us has gifts and talents that are uniquely ours to share with the world; no on else is equipped to share them the way we can.

And it is our call, our obligation to do so.

There are folks on the path behind us who need to hear what we have to say; who want to hear. We can make their way sweeter and gentler when we have the courage to stand up and be heard.

Every third grader looks up to a fourth grader… each of us can turn around and share the lessons that we’ve learned.

With confidence and integrity… even when we’re scared; even when we feel we have no “standing.”

Marianne Williamson says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

No one escapes these feelings of inadequacy.

It’s what you do next that matters most: Will you shrink? Or will you step up and lead?

There is a great children’s book called Everyone Poops.

Yup, everybody does.