Walt Hampton, J.D.

Creating the Work & Life You LOVE

Why I Can’t Talk With You

by Walt | May 19, 2016 | Success | 0 Comments

It seemed funny at the time: My seventeen year old son and his girlfriend, sitting in the back seat, side by side, texting each other, rather than talking.

It doesn’t seem as funny now.

The technology that is meant to connect us often doesn’t. Instead, we have become increasingly scattered and distracted, dwelling in a state of continuous partial attention. We tweet in 144 characters. We text in abbreviated words. We take in information in bullet points and sound bites.

We are expected to be always on, always accessible. We stand like players on a digital tennis court, waiting for a ball to be served over the net, not wanting to miss a play, and always wanting to be seen as available to volley back.

We have lost the capacity to sit still, to be still, and to know the beauty and the grandeur of quiet and solitude. We have lost the capacity to create space for creativity; and we have lost touch with the power of reflection.

At risk is our capacity to relate, really relate; to communicate deeply… to look each other in the eye and talk… really talk.

I participated recently in a mock networking event for graduating business students. Bright and driven; at the top of their class. And not a one could hold my gaze in conversation.

Traveling through the Newark airport recently, we stopped for dinner. On each table – firmly mounted between the place settings – an iPad – to order our food and drinks and surf the net and update our statuses and… everything except a (real) connection with the person across the table… because that would require looking over or around that now sacred tablet.

Some studies have shown that stepping away from our smartphones and tablets can have the same physical and mental impact as going cold turkey from smoking or drugs. But what might it be like to put our tech aside for just an evening… or a day… or a week? What might it be like to reconnect with ourselves… and with those we love?

Disconnect to connect. Will you give it a try?

Your Trash

by Walt | May 12, 2016 | Success | 0 Comments

For nearly three decades, a dear friend of mine was a flight attendant on a major airline flying long-haul routes. He would tell this funny story: At the end of an especially long, customer service-challenged flight, when they would come down the aisle for that last time with the garbage bags, saying “your trash, your trash,” what they were really thinking (and actually saying), was “you’re trash, you’re trash!”

This post is not about the joys of flying. It is, however, about your trash. Your head trash, that is.

Because, your head trash is what keeps you stuck; it’s what keeps you from launching your business, writing your book, advancing your career, getting in shape, finding a mate, speaking your truth; it’s what keeps you from sharing your gifts with the world; it’s what keeps you from living your very best life.

Your head trash are those voices in your head that whisper to you:

I’m not ready
I’m not enough
I’m not worthy
I need more training
I need more experience
I need a degree
I need another certification

And no one escapes them.

Tony Robbins suggests that the two primary questions that every human being struggles with are: “Am I enough?” and “Will I be loved?”

Brené Brown, in her beautiful book, The Gifts of Imperfection, says that every single one of us comes face to face with self-doubt; that every single one of us questions our worth; that no one escapes that worry that someone will find out that we are a fraud.

So… recognizing that you’re not that “special,” that you’re not alone, that every single one of us struggles; every single one of us confronts these fears and doubts… the only relevant question then is this: What are you going to do now?

Even in the face of fear and doubt: What action will you take? What commitment will you make?

The time will never be right. You will never feel ready. There will always be more that you could do.

But the clock is ticking; and the world is waiting for you.

Don’t waste another moment.

Step up. Step out. Get busy. Start now.

The Silent Killer

by Walt | May 5, 2016 | Success | 2 Comments

You don’t see it; and yet it lurks. Unfettered. Unabated. Rampant.

It kills everything you value:

Your productivity

Your creativity

Your attention

Your time

Your relationships

Your sanity

Distraction. Distraction kills.

Every three minutes of the day, you suffer an interruption; or you interrupt yourself. And every time you are interrupted or distracted, it takes (read this as ‘costs’) you 11 minutes of your precious time to refocus. You don’t need to be a math wizard to see the impact: Not only do you feel as if you never really get caught up; you never really do.

Here are 5 ways to beat the killer at its own game:

1. Work in block time. Science shows that you work most effectively in uninterrupted 60 to 90 minute blocks of time in which you do just one thing. The operative words: uninterrupted; one thing.

2. Turn off your chimes and alerts. You control these. And unless you’re working on a space launch or you’re on call to deliver the next royal princess, it’s not likely that every single message or piece of information in real time is absolutely necessary.

3. Schedule your social media time. Social media is critically important to the success of most enterprises. But it’s an easy place to hide out when you’re feeling bored or stressed or aimless. (Or suffering a FarmVille detox.) So schedule the block of time when you’ll ‘do’ your social media; then do it; and move on.

4. Turn off your smartphone. Barack and Vladimir have ‘people’ who field their calls. But your world will not lapse into darkness if you miss a few. And the respite you enjoy will yield a 100 fold.

5. Go tech free. For an evening or a day or a week. Get off the grid entirely. Soak in the silence. Read, write, reflect, create. Be – really be – with yourself… and with those you love.

Distraction kills focus.

Focus is power. Your power.

Protect it. Defend it. Take it back.

Which Dog Are You Going To Feed?

by Walt | Apr 28, 2016 | Success | 0 Comments

One Sunday, Walt and I got the brilliant idea that we’d kayak over to Horse Island and have ourselves a little picnic to celebrate our anniversary.

Horse Island is this little deserted hunk of cliff and bush with an old stone tower on one end that lies ten minutes off shore. Farmers used to graze their horses out there, thus the name.

Can you imagine convincing one horse, let alone a whole herd of them, to sit still in a boat?

Leave it to the Irish. There’s a reason they survived the Potato Famine.

Anyway, there we were on Horse Island looking for a spot to spread our towels and set out the wine and cheese. There’s a perfectly reasonable beach on which to dine, but, being stupid adventurers, we set out towards the Norman tower instead. God forbid we take the easy way out. Up the rocky embankment, through the impenetrable, shoulder-high ferns we went, basket in hand.

It didn’t take me very long to recognize that we’d made a bad decision. I could barely see Walt’s head through the growth; brambles tore at my legs despite the Wellington boots, and the footing was unpredictable in more than a few places. Hallmarks of trouble abounded, but, being Ann, I kept pushing forward. I mean, if I can forge through twelve feet of snow for hours on end at altitude, I can make it to a rinky-dink castle.

Thirty minutes in, I stumbled into a ditch and sprained my ankle. Which struck me as rather unfortunate because I had no idea how I was going to get the f*ck off that island.

Which immediately got me to thinking about the book I’ve been reading, The Way of the SEAL, by Mark Divine. I had lots of time to think because it was taking Walt awhile to find me, seeing as I’d landed in the equivalent of the Grand Canyon.

Anyway, The Way of the SEAL is written by an ex-Navy SEAL Commander, and in it he reveals exercises, meditations, and focusing techniques to train your mind for mental toughness, emotional resilience, and uncanny intuition. I quote. Which was sort of what I needed so I wouldn’t freak the hell out.

In particular, I remembered this bit on attention control, and the ability to stay cool under pressure by feeding the right dog.

The Native American legend “The Wolves Within” tells of an evil wolf and a good wolf that live inside us, constantly battling for control. Other versions describe the two opposing forces as Fear Dog and Courage Dog, which is what we use at SEALFIT. The lesson is that whichever dog you feed will win the fight. We can’t kill Fear Dog because he’s a part of us—remember, fear is natural and sometimes even useful—but we can weaken his power. Negative thoughts and energy feed Fear Dog, weakening us, leading us to performance degradation and poor health. We can lock Fear Dog up and redirect his energy into assertiveness and discipline. Meanwhile, we need to feed Courage Dog. Positive thoughts and energy feed Courage Dog, strengthening the mind, body, and spirit. Feeding Courage Dog makes us more kind, patient, tolerant, powerful, and present. We’ll avoid conflict and become better leaders. We won’t hesitate to lean into the hard tasks; fear won’t control us.

Whenever you find yourself in a bad situation—your husband announces he wants a divorce, your kid gets arrested for a DUI, that sort of thing—you need to start asking yourself, “What dog am I feeding?” Feed the Fear Dog, and you’ll stay mired in the shit show. Feed the Courage Dog, and you bring awareness to the moment and the ability to stay positive and problem solve.

And yes, I made it home in one piece. I mean, if an Irish farmer can get a herd of horses on and off that ridiculous island, how hard can it be to extricate one woman?

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This is a guest post by Ann Sheybani. My business partner, running partner, climbing partner and life partner, she helps speakers and coaches write and publish powerful client-attracting books. Check out what she’s go going on over at her website. Click HERE.

Rearranging The Deck Chairs

by Walt | Apr 21, 2016 | Success | 0 Comments

When my youngest son was 14, I took him on a Disney cruise. One night, he decided that he was going to “rearrange” all of the deck chairs and move them onto the elevators. This apparent misuse of time and resources seemed to amuse him. It amused Philip, the smartly dressed security officer who knocked at my cabin door at 2:00 a.m., much less.

All of us, though, can fall victim to “rearranging the deck chairs.”

This phrase originated in the stories surrounding the sinking of the Titanic. It means “to do something pointless or insignificant that will soon be overtaken by events, or that contributes nothing to the solution of a current problem.”

It appears in various guises. Here’s how we hear it from some of our coaching clients:

I’m going to get to making those sales calls as soon as I alphabetize the list.
I’m going to start the business as soon as I get the logo designed.
I’m going to launch the program as soon as the website is done.
I’ll get out to those networking events right after the business cards come.
I’ll get to work as soon as I finish the (next) degree, program, seminar, certification.

This stuff looks important; it sounds “necessary.”

But, in reality, it’s hiding behind the appearance of busy.

It’s doing stuff that puts off what really needs to be done.

Sure businesses need infrastructure; and I’m a huge believer in continuing personal and professional development.

But what’s most important is getting out into the world and serving; launching that product; using the idea; doing the work; sharing the gifts and talents in the ways that only you can do.

Of course, “things” get in the way like our

generalized overwhelm
fear of failure
fear of success
fear of what “others” will think
lack of clarity
inertia and resistance

Creatives and intellectuals love to fall in love with their ideas; they like to engage in constant thought, reflection, and improvement. Entrepreneurs want excellence. And there is no question that in certain areas of life we need high levels of training, certification and a demand for perfection, like in air traffic control and brain surgery.

But for most of us, we just need to do the work; we need to show up every day and do the work.

The real work. Not the busy work.

For most of us, it’s better done than perfect.

Seth Godin suggests that all the kvetching is pointless unless we get our work out into the world, unless we “ship” what we have to offer.

You can spend your days rearranging the deck chairs. But the boat will go down.

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If you’ve been preoccupied with re-arranging and are ready to get busy now, let’s talk about coaching. Email me at: [email protected]