In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Way, every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.
— Lao-tzu
He wore a multi-colored codpiece. And nothing else.
He looked to be in his mid-sixties, slim, fit and tan. His long strides down the beach were matched by those of his companion, her long dark air blowing in the warm Caribbean breeze.
She, of course, had no need for a codpiece. She was stark naked.
The two were engaged in animated conversation, smiling, laughing. The codpiece drew attention to itself mostly because it was shaped as the beak of a toucan.
It was our first visit to Orient Beach on the beautiful island of St. Martin. What surprised us most after the startling sighting of the toucan, was how peace-filled a place it was, how welcoming the people were, how smooth the energy felt.
There was no pretense.
I thought of Orient Beach a few weeks ago. We attended the annual Barristers’ Ball. It was a beautiful black tie affair. With a Venetian Mask theme! Think of that: a bunch of lawyers dressed up in formal wear. Wearing masks! It was simply fascinating to watch those who play roles for a living wearing disguises!
But don’t we all?
We have the mask we wear at work. The one we wear with our colleagues and acquaintances. The one we wear in our role as parents. The one we wear when we are angry. The one we wear when we want to be brave. The one we wear when we are afraid.
It is the fear, isn’t it, that drives this?
Fear that who we really are is not good enough, fit enough, slim enough, fast enough, smart enough, in-control enough, driven enough, creative enough. Fear that who we really are won’t get us admired, hired, liked or loved.
So we play roles. The roles of who we want to be. The roles we think will get us what we want. Which is to be accepted for who really are.
What irony.
But we have we worn these costumes so long that the challenge to shed them seems insurmountable.
Where are our authentic selves? Where do we find them; how do we rediscover them? And how do we express them in the world?
What does it take to get Real?
It takes a degree of weariness I think: we need to tire of the energy necessary to prop up our false selves. We need to feel the fatigue of inauthenticity.
It takes trust: trust that our hearts will guide us; trust that our hearts know the way; trust that our hearts always speak the truth.
It takes courage: the courage to believe that our true selves are the ones that resonate most sincerely in the world; the courage to know that who we really are is what is most powerful, encouraging and inspiring to others.
It takes love: enough love of ourselves to believe in the gift of our souls to the world.
And it takes time. It takes a lot of time to try on all the multi-colored masks and costumes to finally discover that none of them really fit.
That our naked selves are what really matter.
When the blog posts this week, you’ll find me on St. Martin. I’ll leave the rest of the story to your imagination.
Uh, where is the picture of the toucan?
Very good message, Walt. So true. I’ve found that now that I’ve stripped (pun intended) away many of my masks worn from insecurity – people still like me and actually like to be around me! Now that I’ve gotten a stronger sense of spirit, I have the courage to be who I am. And as silly as this sounds, I like me!