I’ve had the great privilege of spending time this past week with graduating high school seniors in anticipation of their commencements. 
One of the things I tell them is: Don’t believe “the lie.”
This is the lie we tell; the lie that was told to me; the lie teachers and parents and well-meaning adults tell; the lie I myself have told my own children; the lie we tell ourselves; the lie that each of us must battle every day:
IF you work hard, take all the AP courses get good grades, join lots of clubs, get involved in student government, do lots of extracurricular activities, do community service, take an SAT preparation course, write a great essay, graduate at the top of your class, get into a great college, one with a great name, an expensive college, work hard, get good grades, get involved in student government, volunteer, get an internship, get two internships, graduate at the top of your class, get into graduate school or a professional program, work hard, write for a journal, publish, present, graduate with honors, get a good job (you know, one with benefits), work hard, settle down, find a partner, get married, buy a house in a nice neighborhood with a big mortgage, get a nice safe car like a Volvo or a mini-van, in fact, get two nice cars, have 2.2 children, get a place at the shore, work a lot of hours, stay really busy and productive, see a lot of clients, sell a lot of product, network a lot, volunteer, sit on a lot of boards, belong to lots of civic organizations, become the boss, the manager, the partner, the senior partner, get the corner office… then… then… finally… you will be successful… and then…then… finally… you will be happy.
It’s an empty, hollow promise.
In groundbreaking research at Harvard, Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, has demonstrated convincingly that it is happiness that fuels success, not the other way around. Happiness comes first.
Many folks who have lived that lie for decades find their way to my doorstep for coaching feeling discouraged, depleted and demoralized. They have all the toys, all of the indicia of “success;” and yet, inside, they are empty and miserable. They can’t figure out why.
Because, happiness is not “out there” just beyond some “cognitive horizon” (as Achor says).
Happiness is here; it is now; it is in this moment.
May we claim it for ourselves.
May we have the courage not to perpetuate the lie.
I love this sentiment, but I think you have a virus or some malware on this page. After I shared it on Facebook, people have begun commenting that when they try to access this on their mobile phone they see this message: “This site has naked pics of women you may know”
Hope you can get that fixed!
Our seniors had a lot to think about st the CREC Greater Hartford Academy of the Arts after Walt’s workshop and his commencement speech last evening. We were proud to have him in the house. His message of “choice” and “happiness” leading to success finished with them dancing out of the theater while our musicians played “happy.” Memorable for sure.