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Grow & Scale A Business That Will Set You Free
Why You Need To Act Out
One of my fondest memories from my early years as a young single dad is of watching my boy, clad in his yellow slicker and red rubber boots, stomping in the puddles, standing in the rain. He always liked being out in the ‘mess’ of it all. Still does, I dare say.
Being out in the mess, of course, is where the action is; where it’s all happening; where our lives unfold.
Not in the house; not where it’s warm; not where it’s dry and safe.
Out there. Out on the field.
Out where it’s rough and tumble and muddy.
Out where it’s cold and wet… Out where we might get hurt.
It’s always interesting when coaching clients come to me with things they say they want to do: projects they say want to pursue; goals they say they want to achieve; and these ‘things’ they say they want to do have lived in their heads, in their minds and in their hearts… often for years… decades sometimes… as thoughts… as hopes … as ideas… as wishes.
Of course, all great things start in our minds and hearts. There wouldn’t be an electric light bulb or Sistine Chapel or car or democracy or computer or iPhone were it not for an idea that once lived only in someone’s consciousness.
The tricky part is that next step.
The tricky part is getting out there and doing something.
The tricky part is: Taking Action.
There’s a reason that comfort zones are called that…. They’re pretty damn comfy. Not much is at risk. It’s easy imagining a new relationship or a fresh career. It’s fun to think about being a published author or an award-winning photographer. The idea of an advanced degree or a successful business is alluring… and exciting.
Doing the work: That’s messy.
And overwhelming.
We fear discomfort. We fear failure. We fear criticism. We fear judgment.
We fear change.
We fear success.
And our fears keep us small. They keep us ‘safe’ in the warm, comfy, cozy house that is our mind.
As long as we entertain ourselves with the ideas, as long as we pretend that we’re going to get to it… someday… as long as we delude ourselves that, when the time is right, when the ‘conditions’ are right, then somehow fool we ourselves into believing that we’re actually doing something.
Except that we’re not.
And time goes by… and one year dissolves into the next. And the delusion stays just that.
Here’s the truth: It’s NEVER the right time to act. Conditions will NEVER be ideal. The time will NEVER be right.
There will ALWAYS be reasons not pursue your hopes and dreams and aspirations.
And the clock WILL run out.
The time to act is now.
To overcome overwhelm, to combat fear: Take tiny steps. Really tiny steps. If you want to lose weight, work at losing one pound a week. If you want to start a running program, run around the block. If you want to explore a new career, take a one-week workshop. If you want a new degree, take a course, just one course. If you want to write a book, write a page (or half a page) a day.
A pound a week is 50 pounds in twelve months time. A page a day is a pretty hefty book in a year.
And how fast a year flies by.
Consistency is key. Staying at it… every day… no matter what. Braving the cold, the wet, the fear, the judgment, the discomfort.
An accountability partner helps. Forming a mastermind or peer group might be good. Or maybe you would benefit from a coach. But whatever you need to do to create your ideal life, to make your dreams come true, do it!
Get it out of your head and into your life.
Make it real.
Act out. Now.
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I will have ONE opening in my Inner Circle Coaching program beginning in November, one-on-one coaching that will take your business and your life to a whole new level. Does it have your name on it? Email me and we will set aside some time to see if the time is right for you. [email protected]
It Costs Too Much
I like to pretend that I can multitask. Except that I really can’t.
No one can. It’s not physiologically possible.
Certain repetitive, habitual type things, of course, can get done at the same time, like tying your shoes while carrying on a conversation. But two or more things that require focused attention simply can’t be done at once.
What happens, really, when we attempt to do two things at the same time, is that we handle them sequentially; our brains toggle between the tasks.
I’m a really fast toggler.
But there’s a huge cost to toggling.
There’s an energetic cost. It’s wearing to toggle. We end up feeling tired and overwhelmed when we’ve spent our day toggling.
There’s an acuity cost to toggling. It’s not possible to focus well when we’ve got a lot of balls in the air. We make mistakes when we toggle; sometimes catastrophic ones.
There’s a time cost to toggling. Studies show that it takes anywhere from 12 to 20 minutes to re-attend to a task once we’ve been distracted by another task. We’re actually less efficient when we toggle.
There’s a productivity cost to toggling. When we’re trying to do lots of stuff, few things get done to completion; and little gets done well. We’re actually accomplishing less when we toggle, not more.
There’s a human cost to toggling. Toggling causes us to be fragmented, distracted and superficial in our relationships. We fail to show up; we fail to be present; we fail to listen deeply. We dishonor our connection with one another when we toggle.
Toggling causes us to live in a state of continuous partial attention. Distracted. Stressed out. Spread thin. Mentally blurred.
“Deep thinking demands sustaining a focused mind,” Goleman writes in his bestseller Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence.
Peak performers know the power of focus; they harness the power of attention.
They do just one thing; the most important thing. And then they do the next thing. And the next.
If you want to be a peak performer – or if you only want to restore some sense of sanity to your life – stop multitasking.
It costs way too much.
Take A Shower
Take a shower; or a warm bath. Walk in the woods; or along the beach. Sit in a Jacuzzi; or in a rocker. Watch the sunrise, or set; or both.
Get away. Away from the overwhelm.
Get out of your office, out of the maelstrom, out of your head; get off the grid, off the wheel; turn off the alerts, shut down the phone.
Put aside the to-do list; and the demands. Let the worries go; and the tensions.
Allow your mind… and your body… to relax.
Just be.
Here. Now. In this moment.
It may be that reflection has gone out of fashion. It’s certainly counter-cultural. Our model of success is to work longer, harder, faster. And yet the science shows that slowing down and stepping back actually boosts performance.
Think about it: Your best ideas don’t come when you’re stressed out and spread thin, driving forward at breakneck speed, wrapped up tight in Gordian knots.
They come to you when your mind is at ease.
Those moments of ah-ha; that grand vision for your life; that new product; that problem solved; that chapter written. They happen in those quiet moments; that place of peace.
So open up that space for yourself. Often.
Give that gift to yourself.
And to the world.
Because in that space – in that stillness – is your power.
Love It or Leave It
You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out. –Steve Jobs
I have a client – articulate, driven, highly educated and talented – whose business is failing.
Because she doesn’t love it.
I have a friend who is having a devil of a time landing a job in a field in which he has worked for years – and excelled.
Because he doesn’t love it.
Love for what you do is the only thing that sets you apart.
Love for what you do is the only thing that will sustain you.
Benjamin Bloom (of Head Start fame), while he was a professor at the University of Chicago, did a study of 120 outstanding scholars, artists, and athletes. He was trying to figure out what made them tick; and even more important, what common factors contributed to their greatness.
He controlled for intelligence; he controlled for family background. He discovered that geography didn’t matter; that race didn’t matter; that socio-economic advantage didn’t matter; and that it didn’t matter whether these folks were ‘naturally smart.’ The only thing – the one common denominator – that distinguished these folks was extraordinary drive.
And the only thing that fuels extraordinary drive… is passion.
A love for the ‘game.’
A love so keen that it propels you out of bed in the morning and sets the day on fire.
A love so strong that you can take the heat, endure the pain, keep the faith, go the distance.
There are lots and lots of sales people, countless Internet marketers, a bazillion coaches, more lawyers than real people, doctors out the ying yang. A nearly inexhaustible selection of authors and artists and plumbers and HR managers and executives and electricians.
Your ‘job,’ your position, is not unique.
But you are.
Over the long haul, you can never compete on price, credentials, ‘novelty,’ flashy ads or noise.
Because at that level, everyone looks the same. Your voice disappears in the landscape. All noise; and no signal.
But when you’re on fire, you stand out.
When you’re filled with passion, there is no one else who looks like you. No one else who can possibly compete.
When you claim your own authentic voice, there is no competition.
None at all. Your success is guaranteed.
Your energy signature is yours alone. It carries the day.
Here’s the truth: Just because you’re good at something, or have done something for a long time, doesn’t mean you should keep on doing it.
Dale Carnegie once said, “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”
And you can’t possibly have fun unless you’re really feelin’ the love.
Steve Jobs said, “[T]he only way to do great work is to love what you do…. Don’t settle”
Each of us is called to do great work.
Find that love.
Don’t ever settle.
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Excuses Are Good!
Excuses are good; really good. Because, if you’ve got a plausible excuse, then you’re safe… you don’t need to do anything; you don’t need to risk anything.
If you want to do, be or have something more for yourself; if you’d like your life to be different; if you’d like your health to be better; or if you’d like a job that makes you happy; or a relationship that makes your heart soar; and you’ve got an excuse… well, then, nothing really is required of you.
You can just sit tight. Stay comfy. And let the clock run out.
Or not.
The Biggies
Here are the excuses I hear most frequently from clients:
- It’s not the right time. “I’m too old, too young, too fat, too out of shape. I need to save up some more money; I need to wait for the promotion or partnership or bonus; I need to wait until the kids are out of school; I need to wait until my partner retires or I retire; or… .”
The truth is: It’s NEVER the right time. There are ALWAYS obstacles. There are ALWAYS hurdles to jump; there are ALWAYS challenges to overcome.
Now is the only time you have. Tomorrow is promised to do one. Goethe says, “What you can do, or dream you can do, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”
- I could never do that. I’m not brave enough; fast enough; strong enough; fit enough; smart enough; wealthy enough; creative enough; ___________ enough.
I could never do that. I’m not enough.
It’s one of our core insecurities as human beings: That I’m not enough.
It’s why we strive. It’s why we have the Sistine Chapel and rocket ships and the computer and smartphones… because we achieve, we strive… because we forever strive… for more. But the worry that we’re not enough also stops us short; holds us back.
But we’re already enough. All we need is within us already.
Everyone starts from the same place. A Mozart, a Picasso, a Marconi; and some even start from hugely disadvantaged places: a Lincoln, a Mandela, an Oprah.
No matter where you start, you have enough – you are enough – to go the distance.
- It will take too long. It will take 4 years for the degree; 7 years for the residency; 6 months to train for the race; a year to lose the weight; 3 to write the book; and who knows how long to find the ‘right one.’
So what? Who cares? The clock is ticking. The time will pass; whether you take the next step; or not.
It may well take you three years to launch your new business; but the three years will come and go even if you never launch.
Greatness takes time. The overnight success has spent many a sleepless overnight. And while maybe you won’t need 10,000 hours to sharpen your skills, you still need to put in the effort.
Opportunity often disguises itself as work; and work worth doing – legacy work, generational work, world-changing work – often takes a long time.
- It’s too big; too hard. It’s complicated, confusing, overwhelming, I can’t figure it out. I don’t know where to research it; I don’t know who to talk to; I don’t know what to do next.
Even highly successful, highly accomplished professionals labor with this excuse. The more expert we become in a particular area, the more daunting it is to venture into a new one. We like the familiarity of our own turf.
And even highly successful folks have ‘blind spots.’ They may excel in the business life and struggle in their relationships; their finances might be stellar and their health in the toilet.
Too, we live in a culture of overwhelm. There’s so much flying at us all the time. We suffer from information overload. We resist wanting to take in more.
But what we need to remember is that every journey starts with a single step. Every ultra I’ve run, every mountain I’ve climbed… no matter how long or how big gets finished by taking one step… and then the next.
We want to see the entire way. But we don’t need to. “Take the first step in faith,” Martin Luther King, Jr. said. “You don’t need to see the whole staircase; just take the first step.”
In every endeavor, every business venture, every fitness goal, every financial objective, every marketing campaign, every piece of research, it’s just one step at a time.
And the hardest one is the first one. So just take it!
- It’s too risky. I don’t want to fail; I don’t want to lose my job; I don’t want to lose money; I don’t want to get hurt in another relationship; I don’t want to get injured. It’s too dangerous.
This is the most pernicious excuse of all because it seems to make so much sense. Why take unnecessary risks… why put yourself in harm’s way?
Guess what? Life is dangerous. None of us gets out alive.
I have a buddy who has been on Mt. Everest twice; summitted once. He shattered his leg cleaning out the leaves from the gutters on his one-story house.
We like to believe in stability; in constancy. But the only thing that is constant, the only sure thing is that things will change.
Businesses collapse, partnerships fail, marriages come unraveled, layoffs happen, people get sick, markets crash. And as much as we like to maintain an illusion of control, we really don’t have very much at all.
Our comfort zones are called comfort zones because, well, they’re pretty damn comfy. But what’s true is that the magic happens just beyond. Our greatest breakthroughs… our very best lives… are just outside that place of comfort. Life rewards those who risk.
What’s Next?
So excuses are good; in fact, they’re great… if you want to stay stuck. Not so much if you want a big life. The stories we tell ourselves are just that: stories. It’s as easy to make up a small story as it is a grand one.
Grand is better.
What are your favorite go-to excuses? And what will you do now?
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