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Grow & Scale A Business That Will Set You Free
Naughty or Nice
I’m not talking about your Christmas list or your holiday card list or your To-Do list.No, I’m talking about your most important list of all: your Stop Doing List.We get caught up in the myriad tasks we have; we lose ourselves in the vortex. We forget that, as Mark Devine, author of The Way of the Seal, says, there are really only a few “high value” targets.Think Pareto. Old Vilfredo was an economist. He was also a gardener. One day, Pareto looked out at his peas and made a stunning discovery: 20% of his peapods had 80% of the peas. Well Pareto, being the intellectual that he was, decided to explore whether this ratio could be found in areas other than his garden. And lo, the Pareto Principle, also know as the 80/20 rule, was born.Here’s what’s true: 20% of your clients lead to 80% of your profits; 20% of your products are responsible for 80% of your revenues; 20% of your team is responsible for 80% of sales; 20% of your efforts yield 80% of your outcomes. (And, oh, by the way: 20% of your customers cause 80% of your headaches!)So why not focus on that significant 20%… and chuck the rest?Think back over the last year. There are certain efforts that didn’t yield any measurable results. Stop doing them. There were certain networking functions that didn’t yield any real viable leads. Stop going to them. There were certain customers that were way too high maintenance (or dangerous) to work with. Stop working with them.Now think back to the last holiday season: There were certain gatherings you went to that left you wondering why you ever went. Don’t go back this year. There were certain functions that left you feeling drained and down. Don’t do them again. There were certain toxic, soul-sucking people that were just unpleasant to be around. Stay away from them!Just because you’ve done something before doesn’t mean that you should keep on doing it.Stop running around giving everything the same level of import.Focus on what matters most. Focus on what’s high value.Apply Pareto. Ruthlessly.Make your Stop Doing List. Today.I’d hate to have to send you coal.Cruel To Be Kind
It was a pretty hefty litany of challenges.
“If one of your team came to you with this long, sad story,” I asked, “what would you say?”
“I’d say to her… take the rest of the day off. In fact, take a long weekend. Do what you need to do to take care of you; and feel better.”
I paused to let it seep in. “So can you do that for yourself?” I asked.
My colleague, a c-level exec, had come to me for some coaching. She was struggling with illnesses in her family, and challenges in her business. She had been “on” for a long time. She hadn’t been getting enough sleep. She had been doing little to nurture herself. She was worn down, stressed out and spread thin. There was nothing left.
“Yes,” she said. “I can do that. I don’t know why I couldn’t see that that’s exactly what I need to do.”
It’s because, as entrepreneurs and professionals, we are often harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. We hold ourselves to incredibly high standards; even higher than those we hold for our people. We demand of ourselves sustained, uninterrupted peak performance. We are highly intolerant of our own weaknesses; and unforgiving of our shortcomings. We drive ourselves longer, harder and faster than we would ever reasonably expect of others.
And then we wonder why we’re flagging; why we’re flailing; why we’re not making progress; why we can’t get traction; why we’re stuck; why we’re not meeting our goals.
We can’t seem figure out what’s gone wrong.
Because we’re in our own way.
Taking care of ourselves, nurturing ourselves, being kind to ourselves… these are core success principles! The basic fuel. 
For me this means adhering to my basic daily practices: my running, my journaling, my sitting meditation. It means eating well; and getting lots of sleep. It means going off the grid on a regular basis because, as an introvert, that’s how I recharge. And it means taking lots of time off to re-ground and re-create.
You already know what you need to do for you. The trick is to acknowledge that doing so is not wasteful but, rather essential to the work you do in the world.
Of course, like everyone, I drive too hard, and fall off the cart from time to time. (We teach what we most need to know!).
But I’ve learned that we can be cruel to ourselves… or be kind.
And kind works out so much better. For everyone.
What You Focus On Expands
These are the questions I always ask at the beginning of a coaching session:
What’s worked well this past week? Where have you found the traction? Where have you seen the momentum? What have been your wins?
I want to know what’s good.
None of us lack for challenges. No one escapes difficulty. It’s easy to focus on what’s not working. (And oftentimes, my coaching clients are pretty eager to dive into this stuff!) 
But what you focus on expands.
When you focus on what’s not working, more of that shows up. When you focus on what’s good, more of what’s good appears.
So right out of the gate, I want to know what’s working well.
And interestingly enough, all sorts of wondrous things begin to flow from that place of positivity; things that likely wouldn’t have even come to light had we begun with a focus on the problems (“challenges” we like to say in coaching!). New ideas, novel strategies, unique perspectives.
Unlike driving race cars at high speeds on desert courses, this focus on what’s working well is something you can actually try at home. Here are two practices that will change everything for you:
1. Every day, when your eyes pop open, make this your first question of the day: “What wonderful opportunities will come my way today?”
When you’re looking for opportunities, you’ll be amazed at how many you see! (Think about the last time you were considering the purchase of a particular model of car: you saw them everywhere! Opportunities are like that!)
2. At the end of the day, right before you go to sleep, write down (yes, write it down because the writing process cements it) three things you’re grateful for, or three things you appreciate about the day, or three things that went well. Just three things. (They might be small or large, things that you appreciated yesterday, or everyday. Doesn’t matter.)
In our culture of weariness and overwhelm, where it’s common to complain, it’s way too easy to get caught in a cycle of negativity. Break the cycle. Focus on the good. And good beyond measure will flow to you.
Just Screw It
The days have gotten pretty short up here on the 52nd parallel. The sun rises in the southeast and scoots along the southern horizon; darkness comes way too soon. Today, the wind is blowing a cold rain across the pastures. 
But here’s what’s true: The seeds of spring blow on these cold winds of November. What are you planting?
And not just in your garden. (I planted tulips in mine a week ago, looking at the beautiful label on the bag, and imagining what they’ll look like in the brilliance of the spring.) But in your business and in your life. What seeds are you planting?
It’s easy, as the darkness envelops us and the temperatures fall and the holidays loom, to just say, “screw it, nothing’s going to get done in the holiday season; I’ll hunker down and hibernate; I’ll just wait til the first of the year to push things forward.” But this – this time – is the absolute best time of year to begin to review what you’ve accomplished in the year thus far, to consider what’s worked well, to assess where the challenges have been; and to begin to plan for the year ahead; to begin to consider the possibilities; to begin to create new opportunities.
It’s a bit like those early lessons we suffered when we’d wait til the first of June to look for that summer job. It was too late.
In the same way, if you dismiss the wonder and opportunity of this season, you’ll be behind the curve when the first of January arrives, as it most surely will.
The seeds of spring blow on these cold winds. What seeds will you be planting?
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The MOST Important Question
“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” -Stephen Covey
There are lots of important questions that we might ask ourselves in business and in life. But the most important one is this one: “What do I want the outcome to be?”
What is my destination? Where do I want to end up?
If you stopped by at the airport today and asked for a ticket, the agent would be pleased to sell you one. But the first question that the agent would ask you would be, “Where do you want to go? 
If you said, “Barcelona, Paris or Rome,” the agent would likely say, “Okay, which one?”
We’re all capable of great things. But the challenge is that we live in a culture of overwhelm; we dwell in perpetual distraction. And we lose our direction; we lose sight of the main thing.
Getting clarity on exactly where it is we want to go, on exactly what it is we want to accomplish, is the key to achieving any goal, the key to achieving magnificent results.
So where do you want to go? What exactly do you want your outcome to be?
Ask this question at every juncture:
• Before a business meeting
• Before a sales call
• Before you launch a new venture
• In a disagreement with a partner or spouse
• Before you get lost in an argument with a teenager
• At the start of your day
The GPS in your car gets you to within 30’ of your destination… because you’ve locked in the coordinates.
When you know your destination, you’re much more likely to get there!
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